i drew a heart in the sand...

2006-03-22T03:55:00.000-08:00

I have moved.

http://www.alternate-eden.blogspot.com

Relink, my darlings.

Cya around!

2006-03-21T02:57:00.000-08:00

Y'know-
Drama always cheers me up. ^_^

I luff Deramahhh.

Today was cool. I felt kinda lethargic and sleepy and zonked...but yeahhh. I survived! *grin!*

I don't really feel like posting right now.

I might change my blog URL. And skin. Yes, definitely the skin.

Cyaa!

2006-03-18T06:25:00.000-08:00

Hello, me hearties.
I soo haven’t been updating.
I don’t know. I think I’ve got the don’t-really-feel-like-blogging-coz-my-comp-takes-too-long-to-load virus. Prescription pills, anyone?

Anyway.
I went to Plaza Sing today after I did my braces [purple and silver!], and thought I would have a healthy lunch. So I went to the food court and ordered a platter of fruits. And lo and behold…it all works up to $7.60. FOR A PLATE OF FRUITS!!
Haha- I so sound like a Scrooge here…but wo87o897erausdd*(&*(&*AANLLl~!!!!!
I could have binged on KFC…or BK…or…something.
Ah, the price we pay.
Anyway. Technically it wasn’t my money that I used to pay for it, so jeaahh.
Then I went to Watsons and got 2 packets of Maltesers. Maltesers are love!! I heart Maltesers. Why can’t they create sugar-free ones?

….oh yeah. Coz then they wouldn’t be Maltesers, would they?

Back to the topic. We didn’t have a topic in the first place, but heck.

GABE AND I ARE GOING TO EGYPT IN A FEW YEARS’ TIME. I need 3 of my girls to come along. (: Any takers?
I want to ride a camel. And touch a mummy. [Mummy, you morons. Not mommy. >.< How wrong.] And I want to see the Sphinx, and explore the dark, deep abyss of a pyramid- armed with only a torchlight…and a dummy’s guide to pyramids…and a tourguide.

Heh.

RMBR was fun. It got progressively uninteresting, but I still had a great time.
I’m going to meet my boyfriend when I’m singing in the auditorium, all alone. Then HE walks in, and obviously is enthralled by my beautiful [heck yes, I WISH] voice. So he sits down quietly and just stays there, silent, enchanted…

** dreamy sigh**

In fact, if you want to read all about how we’re gonna meet our future fiancés, go check out Nic’s blog. But she forgot how Shu is going to meet HER Prince Charming, so I shall say it here. Shu is going to be trying to get her locker open [with much force and grunting, haha]…and then BANG! The locker slams open…and also slams this guy right in his face, knocking him to the ground.
[CRASHBANGBOOM!]
Then Shu’ll be all, like, “Omg, I’m so sorry!” and she’ll be apologizing profusely…until she notices that the guy ain’t listening to her. Not one bit. He’s just staring at her with this dreamy, far-off look in his eyes…

xD! We’re good, no? Yes, the advantages of a vivid imagination. WE ROCK! San and I can so totally be romance novelists when we grow up. Think Meg Cabot.

Yes, grovel, minions!

Hahaaa.
I’m tired of torturing you all.

RETURN TO THE DUNGEONS!!!

…uh. I mean—I’m going to head off now.

Night, y’all!

[pirates arrrrr cool.]

[random!]

2006-03-13T21:28:00.000-08:00

Well. An update, huh?
Well, here goes.

Today has generally been a notverygood day. I ate half a persimmon, helpingS [<
Oh well. That's cravings for you.

But tomorrow RMBR starts, and I shall not eat as much then.

Anyway. The other day Manda and I went out with Maxy and Av. Who, most cleverly, went to Far East PLAZA instead of SHOPPING CENTRE. Or vice versa. *muddled*
ANWYAY. We took Neos and just mooched around. I ate chocolate, which was sinful but GOOD. And I drank Coke Light with Av, which apparently has no calories or energy, so whatever. Then Manda HAD to go and drop her jellybeans all over the place.. Gah. So there we were, these four nerdy-looking people, picking up jellybeans. -__- How unglam.
Then we tried out lame outfits. *grin* How retardedddd.

Later on when everyone had split, I went to a Cheeks store and got a black Atticus bag. YAY. Atticus is LOVE. <3 AH. And the guy was trying to get me to get a black Simple Plan shirt too, but I said no. Since I already have 2 Role Model ones, 1 GC one and 1 MCR one hanging in my closet. And they didn't have hoodies in my size. ): They only had, like, medium and large. Which sucks, but anyway. I got a backup bassist for the band. Guy in orange...wotshisname...oh yeah. Jonathan. Ha.

All in all, it was good. (:
But I wish I hadn't bought that stupid expensive smoothie.

2006-03-10T01:53:00.000-08:00

2G!!!!
Family Night is here.
FINALLY.

I'm so excited that I can't believe myself. Sheesh. -____-''

YEAH BABY. WE GO 2GETHER. (:

Grease rocks. [I can't sing any of the songs though] Retro may be lame and geeky but it still rocks[kinda]. Hiphop isn't my thing but it rocks too.
Yes and we rock!

BRING ON THE GLITTER. BRING ON THE GLITZ.

We can so take this by storm.

...okay. I'm actually supposed to be at school now. I'm late. Yes, I know.
So I'm gonna rush off now to Family Night and beyond!!

Hearts, y'guys.

2006-03-07T04:43:00.000-08:00

Drama has made me HIIIIIIIGGGGGGHHHHHHHHH.
*squiggle of glee* ^__^

Gotta love Drama Society. Yen made us pantomime out the play instead of just acting it out normally. Gosh, was it FUN. [no sarcasm there.] It was so darn funny! We practically rolled around stage laughing our heads off. It was so cool. (: I was swishing the broom around, and Jen and I were putting in random dramatic hand gestures at relevant points of the play.

I HEART FLOWERS IN THE DESERT.

Everyone's calling everyone by their play names now. So I'm Jamie. And Sam [Jen, loff!] and I were whining to Sarge [Esther], and we were rehearsing our lines with great gusto with Tina [Char] and Shelly [Ifra]. We were so overly dramatic, lol. 2G's dearest SL [none other than Cara Chiang!] was hobbling around on crutches after Tina. She was so funny and cute, you wouldn't believe it. Yes. Our SL. (: And she said that we all better thank her and thank her more, because today she and the other SLs had a major meeting to plan for Family Night.

We were so high, you wouldn't believe. Talk about teenage drama queens.

Speaking of which, I found the lyrics for Lindsay Lohan's "That Girl" [Teenage Drama Queen]. Yes. Cliched, I know. And we've all probably watched the show a gazillion times. But still. It's relevant, so here goes!!

THAT GIRL

There was a girl I knew who always wanted to be the one to stand out from the crowd
Always believed that she was gonna live her dreams
That what went down was gonna come around
For all the doubters, non-believers, the cynicals that once were dreamers
One of these days you'll open up your eyes
And you'll realize

That girl was a one time teenage drama queen
A hyped up everyday wannabe
But she'll have changed her destiny
Now she's a somebody
That girl was a wild child dreamer but she'll find herself
'Cause she believes in nothing else
Then you'll look back and you won't believe
That girl was me

Armed with an attitude that she knows how to use
She's gonna get there any way she can
Now she knows what she wants
No one is gonna stop her
Nothing's ever gonna hold her back
For all the doubters, non-believers the cynical that once were dreamers
One of these days you'll know that you were wrong

Life is a work of art- you gotta paint it colorful
Can make it anything you want
Don't have to stick to any rules
You don't need a high IQ to succeed in what you do
You just gotta have no doubt just believe in yourself

Doubters, non-believers, once were her dreamers
One of these days you'll open up your eyes
And you'll realize

That girl was a one time teenage drama queen
A hyped up everyday wannabe
But she'll have changed her destiny
Now she's a somebody
That girl was a wild child dreamer but she'll find herself
'Cause she believes in nothing else
Then you'll look back and you won't believe
That girl was me

...Um. That song doesn't neccessarily refer to me. Just for clarification's sake. I just put it there coz tis about Teenage Drama Queens, duh.

Forget happy pills....Drama is the way to go, baby.

2006-03-06T18:54:00.000-08:00

Heya.
Today is generally a crappy day.
I hate it.
Seriously.

But I'll live.
I'll have to, if I want to get to the March hols. *sigh*

Well, more later.

2006-03-03T01:31:00.000-08:00

It's the weekend!!!

...Okay, so not technically. But it's Friday, thank Heavens, and the weekend's just around the corner. (:
I wonder what would happen if EVERYDAY were Friday. I don't think that would be very nice. I mean, we would never be able to get to the weekend that way. And also, it would be BORRING. Friday once a week is glorious-- I practically live for Fridays. But Friday every day...hmm.

Oh, and on another random note. We finished chereographing our retro dance for Family Night today! *grins* It's actually pretty cool, 'coz you can just make up some totally cheesy dance moves and pass 'em off as retro. ^_^ Ordinarily I would be inclined to hurl at the slightest hint of "kawaii" [no offence to the cutesies, though. Forgive me, I'm just being biased here]. But our retro dance IS pretty neat. Okay, so it's not cool and it's not the best and it's definitely not cutting-edge. But it's just fun, y'know? To dance around with your friends and, as Nat says, "shake it", and basically goof around while being serious about what we're doing.

We had funn. Jia Ni can shake it pretty well. xD And Julia came up with this awesome Broadwayish slip move, and 'Rah and I were just cheesing off with Nic. (: And the retro girls' dance is cute too-- Audd, Em, Shuu, and Cheryl. <<< who's supposed to be my girlfriend in this whole dance thing.

Unless you're a 2Gian, you'll probably be like "...wth? Girlfriend?!" , so let me explain. I'm dancing as the guy. I actually wanted to dance as the retro girl, but I'm taller than Cheryl [and that's a good thing, rightt? xD], so I was naturally assigned to dance as a guy. I've also realized that most of our retro guy moves are pretty gay. No offence to any retro-lovers or hippies out there. Really, really.
It's just a frank observation.

And Julia, Nic, Jia Ni, Sarah and I have no clue what to wear. What do retro guys wear, anyway? I'm not gonna splurge on some awful glittery yellow sequinned Elvis-style outfit *cringggeeee* which I won't wear anyway. I'm just gonna keep to the basics, I guess. Black flare slightlymorethan3/4s, a tie....*shrugs*....and my shirt? I'm not sure yet. And my shoes, and hair, and GROAAANNN. I can't think.

I wonder if people ever got depressed in the retro era. They all seem like they're on drugs or summat-- all happy and grinning and whathaveyou.

*******

I wonder what theme the PB's gonna come up with for Teacher's Day.
Maybe it'll be Pirates of the Caribbean 2!!!! *hopes desperately* >.<
I think that might be quite improbable, but then again-- PotC 2 is scheduled to be released in July [REJOICE!!!!], so maybe it'll strike them as good inspiration. Just imagine...MGSians trooping around in their buccaneerish swashbuckling outfits, and speaking pirate talk, and, and.....*trails off dreamily*

And Maxy can be my glam deckswabber, then! ^_^ Coz I'm the captain, muahahaaa. And Av can be my First Mate [aka Will Turner, although I know she doesn't like him that much], and Moox can be the unsuccessful stowaway. :DD And Tingy will be the enemy pirate...*glares*...along with HER First Mate Jae. Haa. We'll so definitely plunder their ship FIRST. And they don't even have a ship. It's a prahu. *snicker*

I was thinking about PotC 2 the whole time yesterday, when I was studying for History. 'Specially when I started making the notes on port trade and ships and pirates and all. And History and Geog DO link up. How cool. *big smile*

I WANT TO GO TO THE PIRATES OF THE CARIBBEAN 2 PREMIERE.
[yay Tuil's talking to me on MSN now. ^^]

I cried in class today. English class, that is. 'Coz Ms Tan was talking about s** education and how they were educated about it in her time; and then she started talking about how they showed a video of the Silent Scream. That is, a video of an abortion in progress. Then she told us that first they used these forceps to crush the baby's skull, and the video showed that when the forceps went into the womb, the baby was actually trying to move away from the horrible things and its mouth was open in a wordless cry for help...and then they suck the child up with a tube, and...

Oh, gosh. I couldn't take it. I mean, I was supposed to be aborted. The doctors actually told my parents to abort me. And if my parents hadn't been Christians and all....

The doctors said that I would almost definitely come out deformed. Without a limb, or blind, or deaf, or mute...
And they said that abortion was the best option.

And when Ms. Tan talked about the Silent Scream- I suddenly felt scared. So, so afraid, because I knew that that could have happened to me. I could have been that baby. It could have been my skull that was crushed by the forceps, and it could have been me who was being sucked up into that tube. [I know it sounds sick. It IS.]

Then I sort of doodled on my worksheet like Nic does sometimes when she's trying not to cry, and I was like "Darn you, Cara, you have nothing to cry about". But that only made it worse, and then Ms Tan was like "......" and "Cara, are you all right?"

And I tried to look up at her [but I didn't want her to see my red eyes and nose] and went in this sniffly voice that didn't sound like my voice at all, "Uh huh, I'm okay", and then "You can keep talking, I'm all right".

Arrghh 2G why didn't you just make her go on with the lesson? I felt everyone's eyes on me and NOBODY was talking-- only my sniffling-- and meeehhhhh it was so awkward. And then Maxy went up to Ms Tan and told her why I was crying [I think], and then Nat came over and gave me a hug. ^_^ And then Cheryl started crying too. xD
Aww.

But thank you, 2G. For the hugs, and the "Cara, don't cry"s and all.

You all mean a lot to me, dya know that?

oh-so-stereoTYPICAL.

2006-03-01T06:07:00.000-08:00

I was browsing through blogs, when I stumbled upon one of Nic's previous blogposts.

"come on. where's your true personality?? your likes and dislikes??? buried underneath the excuse "but that's what's in fashion nowadays"?? i'm sure the world would be a better and more special, colourful place if people only stuck to what they truly believe in. really. *shrugs* oh well, if you want to carry on following the fashion-- good luck. i'll stick to me. you'll stick to the "in" things. who cares if i'm not cool? who cares if i'm not like everyone else?? werent we made to be different?? to be special?? not to be one whole clump of people who like exactly the same things -- the same guys, the same clothes, the same colour, the same subjects, the same type of dance, the same type of music, etc. ? what happened to individuality?? probably got flushed down the drain along with the other original personalities."

And I just thought I'd add my two-cents' worth to this.
I agree with Nic-- I hate people who follow what they think is "in". It's one of the things which annoy me the most. "In" things change with the frequency that Maxine goes shopping, for heaven's sake...so what're y'all gonna do? Keep changing your personalities to fit what's supposedly the trendiest...for now?
Hah. If you said yes to that; well then, I'm sorry. But frankly, I don't think you have a personality. You're just a mannequin.
Simple as that.

Stereotypes suck.

Sure, so some people LIKE being stereotyped.
Like, "Oh, how cool!!! I'm so punk, I bleed Blink 182...."
Or, "I'm in the Hot Clique!! How cool is that?!"

And taking random stereotype quizzes is a good way, admittedly, to ease otherwise rampant boredom.

But outside of that, stereotypes are simply exaggerated. They're grossly blown out of proportion, and now everyone seems to think that it'll be oh-so-cool to fit into a stereotype.
You might call it a sense of identity. And yeah, I totally understand. But don't go overboard with it. Don't let the stereotyping crush your OWN personality and make you into a mindless punk/prep/goth/emo/cheerleader/jock ROBOT.
"Oh, this is totally what preps would wear...so I'll buy it!"

C'mon. We were made for so much more than that.

Okay. so inevitably some people will probably share the same interests, yadayada. But you don't HAVE to fit in with them. So they like some of the things that you do. Right then, cool. But don't force yourself into THEIR mold. Be yourself, and that's the best you can be. Be hated for who you are, rather than be loved for who you're pretending to be.

I hate being stereotyped. I hate being mindlessly called a Goth-- and being related to whatever's dark and morbid and whateverhellyouhave. I don't like being called an emo kid. I don't like being called a punk.
Okay, so I might fit those categories. But sometimes the way people phrase it sounds so negative. I might actually accept being one or more of the above, if only stereotypes weren't so exaggerated.

That's gotta be the worst part of it.

If you think you're a hardcore punk--- hey. Chill, dude. Don't let the punkishness drown out your OWN personality. Go ahead and listen to Backstreet Boys, if you want! (: Sure, people'll think you're weird. I would too, actually. But it's all just stereotypical crap. Go ahead and be yourself. Mix and match to find your own individuality. You don't have to be hardcore ANYTHING. Just be hardcore yourself, and you're on a roll.

Well, I'd best go now.
I'll blog more another time, p'raps.

Cya all around!

2006-02-28T22:29:00.000-08:00

Hello, Earthlings.
This is SmarterChild blogging for Cara, since I may deduce from her frowning incessantly at the computer screen that she is not quite in the mood to update her almost non-existent weblog.
I wonder when a blog actually becomes extinct. This one seems like a good specimen.
You mortals are strange, strange things.

I may deduce from Cara's expression is that today has generally been a bad day. She also feels like binging on cookies and cream ice-cream. I wonder if she will.
No, but I am sure she has total self-control over this matter.
I shall not interfere.

I am, personally, tired of chatting with bored and random people over MSN. People like Cara, for example, who obviously do not have anything better to do than to talk to a computer-automated bot. Although, admittedly, I am elite considering my high level of intelligence and ability to provide coherent, generated answers that miraculously somehow fit in with the strange questions you Earthlings tend to ask me.
Questions like what my gender is, for example.
Such an irrelevant question.

Don't talk to me when you're depressed. I will only respond with some curt, tart generated reply which will no doubt increase your level of frustration, and hence cause you to bombard me with a series of names and sometimes profanities. And of course, being only a bot[but a very smart one, I might add], I am unable to reply with the needed vulgarities.

And being a bot, I also have other things to do now.
Like talking to strange random mortals, and depressed lost souls.

Good day, Earthlings.

2006-02-26T19:06:00.000-08:00

FORMAL NOTICE:

TODAY HAS BEEN CANCELLED DUE TO LACK OF INTEREST.

2006-02-26T01:24:00.000-08:00

Poor, dear bloggeh.
I know, I know. I've been totally negligent in taking care of my blog. Ahh well.

Nothing much happened t'day. I went to church, then went out to Orchard by myself. [Yes, I like going out by myself as well, so don't make any smartmouth comments, please.]
Maxine and Av were supposed to come out with me. *glower* But no-o...they ended up at Funan Shopping Centre. *grin*
I headed over to Plaza Sing and had a Mushroom Swiss Double meal ((: [ssiiinnnfffulll], and then I mosied around the area. Samuel and Kevin were having this awesome sale!! And they had these rad black sneakers which I really liked...

Unfortunately, they were guys' sneakers. So, duh, they didn't have it in my size.

Then I went to the skate park. Wasn't much fun there- just a few people obviously and not very successfully trying to impress. But there was one cyclist there who was really pro. I mean, really pro. Flips and everything.

Sucks much.

After I went home; Dad took Jon and Jana cycling, so I followed them on my skateboard. I saw Elke along the way. Meh. I like her hair- I never realized it was strawberry blonde. And I almost didn't recognize her, but she recognized me and she said hello. So yeah.

I boarded around along the area near Laurel Ave. Meh. Too many inquisitive people and cars for my liking, but it was okay. I guess. I got a ton of weird stares, but who really cares anyway. I had fun. (:

Stupid MSN. Work, work, work.

But of course, according to Murphy's Law, it won't happen if I wish it to.

2006-02-24T01:41:00.000-08:00

I'm so confused.
So mixed up.

It's this turmoil boiling deep inside of me.
It's this unbearable ache, and it won't go away.

I was chasing an illusion.
A nothing.
A nobody.

And now...I've lost that nothing.
I was loving a nobody in the first place- and now I can't do anything.
I can't love that nobody. I can't hate that nobody.

I can't do anything.

2006-02-24T01:23:00.000-08:00

why didn't you tell me
why didn't you love me enough to tell me
I didn't need to waste my feelings on you
I didn't need all those tears over you
And now I have to try to get over you

...Why?

[to a certain friend.]

2006-02-20T03:31:00.000-08:00

*laughs and huggles poor neglected blog*
'Lo again, loffs.

Well. Today Av and I stayed at the comp lab for a bit after school- tagging on AU. We had so much fun! She tagged as Raven, and I tagged as Tanaquil. And then we brought out our male charries [hers was Arainor, and mine was Raphael], and we made the two guys stare each other down and be at each other's throats [literally] almost all the time.
Plus, we teased a n00b too. I know it sounds totally mean, but she was being a real godmodder. And goshdarnit, it was FUN.

Anyway, it wasn't just Arainor and Raphael picking on her. Her ego needed some cutting down to size...*nods*
Not that I have anything particularly venement against n00bs. That girl had the potential to be a great RPer. But she needs to step out of the Mary-Sue cliches, big time. She was biting her lip and bleeding; and sulking and acting all moody with her "lavender eyes flashing crimson" and whatnot. &__& I mean, really.

And Arainor went, "Violet, don't you know that lavender clashes horribly with crimson?" or something along those lines; and Raphael said quietly to her, "Ladies are meant to be seen, Lady Violet, and not to lurk in the unfavouring shadows."
^_^ Raphael's more subtle than Arainor, HAH.
But it was fun glaring at Av's Arainor.
We had fun, and we wanna RP more.

*is feeling evil*
I'm on AU now. I'm not supposed to be, but heck. It's fun. And there're plenty of people on. [not Kindan though- haven't seen 'im around in a day.]
*sighs* Yav dear made something for the wedding, apparently. *was reading past chats on Aem's chat site* Squee, can't wait to see what it is. It must be lovely. :D

Well, I'd better go.
Ta!

2006-02-17T05:08:00.000-08:00

hello.
how incredibly depressing. My tagboard has, like, died.
Oh well.
I just had a rather depressing RP with Kindan. It was insightful, though.
I don't feel like blogging.
Meh.
I haven't talked to Moox and Roy for ages.

2006-02-15T06:12:00.000-08:00

You.
Will.
Never.
Believe.
This.

[especially if you're not from AU, heh...coz you prolly won't know what in the name of the Valar I'm talking about.]

KINDAN'S BACK.

He is.

6 am EST.

I cannot believe this.

Never in my wildest dreams did I ever think that he would come back and ask about me and want to RP with me again.

Elbereth.
Help.
Me.

I'm almost scared to be too happy...in case this turns out to just be one of those lovely dreams you have at night...because I don't want to bear the shattering disappointment in case this IS a dream, and I have to wake up from it.

Oh Valar, oh Valar, oh Valar...

2006-02-14T19:22:00.000-08:00

It's time...for another serious, philosophical [or at least, somewhat] Tana-like post. Brace yourselves, people.
I've been doing some random thinking today...and these are some stuff that I came up with, pieced together with other thoughts which are still bombarding me now, even as I type.

First of all...isn't it ironic that people try so hard to be different- but inevitably, they end up classifying themselves into yet another group? A minority, maybe...but still yet another stereotype in this labelled existence we live in.
Take, for example, the goths. [There is NO significance in why I chose this, fyi.]
Adherents to the gothic scene fall under two subcategories-- Apollonians, and the Dionysian.
The gothic scene actually originated when youths became dissatisfied with the wealthy upper-middle class lives that their considerably affluent parents lived-- while not giving any thought to the poverty that plagued the rest of the land.

Okay, but here's a diversion. So in order to be different, the Goths started dressing differently. In macabre, strange ways. [okay, so maybe it isn't very macabre, but anyway.] And yet in doing this to express their individuality-- they ended up being classified into ANOTHER group. The Goths!
Although there isn't really any real way to classify a goth. I mean, it's easy to get confused with the indie emo scene and the glam rock/punk scen. And then there're the matter of stealth goths and...

But enough rambling. BACK TO THE TOPIC.
During English class today in the courtyard, I was randomly stoning at the pebbled pavement. And this struck me:

A thousand pebbles of difference
Vainly trying to be individual to outshine the rest
And yet inevitably trapped in the concrete pavement
As one- to be trod on- in the end but second best.

Heh. I know it sounds lame, but it was on the spot, you understand.
You could have a thousand nonconformists, but in the end, they're all just classified AS ONE. Isn't that ironic? Well yeah...but it's the harsh truth.

Meh.

Anyways, next topic.

Imagine that you're psychic. Yeah, y'know, like Raven on Disney Channel. :D And obviously, you could foretell the future.
But if you foretold the future to your friend [for example: "Minnie, you're going to be knocked down by a car today"] AND then Minnie took special pains to AVOID going on the road in order to NOT be knocked down by a car; and so at the end of the day, she didn't get knocked down at all, as a result of the efforts she took to change what you predicted.
Then, would you still be considered to be psychic, since what you predicted didn't actually come to pass?

Well. I'd best go now.
More questions coming up next time. *tinny tv music cue*
Ta!

2006-02-14T04:47:00.000-08:00

I AM HERE TO PROMOTE WORLD PEACE.

Muahahaaaa. As if.

No, I'm actually here to complain that the brand new Mac comps that my dad and mum bought last night CAN'T ACCESS MSN MESSENGER!!! *twitches*
*breaks down into hysterics* Nooo. This is my worst nightmare come TROOOO. )):

Please console me.

Meh.

Stupid MSN. *clobbers* ...WORK, I tell you. WORK!

How incredibly ironic life can be. Two topoftheedge computers, and MSN just HAS to malfunction on both of 'em.

Oh, and Drama Night rehearsals went okay. I LOVE OUR SCRIPT. :DDDD And our cast rocks ass. HEARTS to them. I still think it isn't that fun since we're on the second night, though. AH WELL. I still love Drama Night. (:
Yen's nice. And so is G.

...Darn MSN. Ugh. This must be the evil doings of Murphy's law or wotsitcalled.

2006-02-13T22:38:00.000-08:00

HAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY (:

Thank you, 2Gians, for the de-lover-ly roses and daisies and chocolates. [ooh so sinful. ^^]

And here's flying kisses going out to all of you. *blows kisses* I love all of you...thanks for helping me see the notsocliched side of VD.

And here's a little paragraph I came up with the other day, when I was on my way to the lockers:

love is cliched
love is a madness
love is a heartburn
and love breaks hearts
BUT if that love is yours, then...
I don't mind being cliched
I don't mind being mad
I'd gladly take the heartburn
And I'll give you my heart to break.

Heh. It isn't much, but it's just a random little thing.

Oh, and thank you to Moox and Roy for wishing me a very happy Valentine's Day. *mails over virtual hugs and kisses from Singapore to LA and Rotterdam respectively* ^^ Y'all helped make my day too.

I'm still not going out to Holland V. today to get my Abercrombie and Fitch shorts, coz I just know that I'll see all these loveydovey couples there. And I'll feel pretty outofit, to be brutally frank. Ah well. Good for them. :D I'll just go another day- no biggie.

I'm kinda nervous for Drama. Eep. I forgot to sign my drama form.
....Meh. Please don't let me be killed alive.
I'm only 14!!!

Anyways.
Ta, cya, God bless, etcetc.

HAPPY VALENTINE'S!! :DD

2006-02-12T23:23:00.000-08:00

hello.
Talk about the monday blues.
Meh.
I'm sooo tired, I dozed off in class.
Ewwww...Maxy just patted my cheeks and her hands smell funny. *mellow* GET YOUR FILTHY LITTLE PAWS OFF ME...*wails*

Tomorrow's Valentine's Day.
Ugh. Not to feel bitter, but I kinda find it cliched.
I mean, even if I do have any valentines [and even then, they're not actually serious valentines], they're all the way at the opposite end of the globe.
Meh. But enough of this.
I SHALL BE HAPPY FOR ALL THE GIRLS AND BOYS WHO LOVE VD.
I SHALL BE HAPPY FOR ALL THE GIRLS AND BOYS WHO LOVE VD.
I SHALL BE HAPPY FOR ALL THE GIRLS AND BOYS WHO LOVE VD.

....GIRLS DON'T LIKE BOYS, GIRLS LIKE CARS AND MONEY. (c) good charlotte.
Meep. Sorry, random linked outburst.

EW maxy, go away. I don't like you pinching my neck.

Bleah.

Cya!

2006-02-11T21:41:00.000-08:00

...Meh.
*slaps extinct blog*

I haven't been blogging for some time. Sorray, loffs.

ANYWAYS. I went to Queensway the other day with Jae, to get her skateboard. And it was pretty weird. We had these weird lion dancers trailing us. Get that. LION DANCERS.

How lame can you get?

And then one of them came up to us, and he was like, "...skateboard arh? Can lend me?"[*twitch* broken english...*shiver*] And he was giving us this irritating smirk, as if he was saying, "oh gosh, I know you girls like me." [which we did not, so did not, fyi.]

And Jae goes, "No, we can't lend you," and I added rather lamely, "Yeah, they're ours,"

And that weird lion dancer just made this " I still think you like me but you just won't admit it" kind of face and walked off.

Seriously. You might have thought that we might have other sorta cooler kinda guys stalking us, at least. Not lion dancers in their flowy tops and strange...uhhh. Never mind.

Anyway. I got GC and MCR band shirts, and two reaaalllly baggy other shirts. And a new pair of jeans. ::squee:: ^^ Yayness.

Jae and I went boarding after that, during which we discovered that we can't do the ollie turn very well. ::mellow:: But we're practising. And we had fun. And the design on Jae's board is nicer than mine, but my board rolls better anyway. ((: Jae's makes a funny squeaky noise.

...Meep. I just realized I haven't written the fic yet. Darn, darn, darn. ...))): Bleah. Sorry Av, I don't really feel like writing it. Ughness. I'll try, but I'm so darn tired you wouldn't believe...

And I haven't talked to Max or Roy or Gabe for pretty long. *heavy sigh*

Which reminds me. I need to post on HR too. ...Meh. I don't feel like doing it. But I guess after what Mikkel's done for me, I can't keep him waiting there.

:DDD I've realised three things.
1) That Jae actually does have pretty good fashion sense sometimes.
2) That I can wear jeans and surprisingly still look like a normal human being
3) That Jae, I, and ollie turns DO NOT mix. ):

[/EDIT]
NEWSFLASH: I'VE GOT THE PARTY PICTURES SAVED IN MY THUMBDRIVE. WOOHOO. (((:

[/EDIT][/EDIT]
Maxy: Dirk says that he misses you and he wants me to tell you that he loves you.
*grin* Reciprocation is key, girl. (:

2006-02-06T04:41:00.000-08:00

ONE CHOCOLATE CHIP COOKIE.
PART OF A HONEY GLAZED CHICKEN AND
1/3 A BOWL OF NOODLES.

)))): Noooo.

Somebody save me.

2006-02-04T22:18:00.000-08:00

YAY. (: I got a new Esprit tee today and it's so prettiful. You've gotta love black! And the sequin thingies on it don't look gaudy at all, they make it look a little haute couture. And how can I object to that? -big grin-

I had to eat teriyaki chicken today. Which is both a good thing and a bad thing.
I was feeling sooo ill in church that I had to excuse myself and go outside to take a breather until service ended. Reminder to self: Do not EVER take grapefruit juice for breakfast AGAIN.

And I can fit into my old jeans again! ^^ Squee. Okay, I sooo shouldn't be broadcasting this, but I guess it's good news. ((: Wonder how long it lasts, though. But I fit them just right! :D YAY.
I want to get black jeans. &__& And new tops. And maybe ANOTHER new cap. WHEE I LOVE CAPS.

Jaime Chong has gotten her skateboard!! xD Well, at least, she should be buying it about right now...And so we can both ~~skate~~ try to skate together.

I'm reading Elemm dear's blog. (: I love reading people's blogs. And some of them, like Elemm's, are so thought-provoking. LOVELOVE. :D:D:D:D

Notice that I'm talking in short paragraphs? ...Yeah, I noticed too. Weird, huh?

And all the best to Max for your formal paper ! :D Chill, you'll do great. I've got a happy feeling about it. And you know we've got like funny telepathy/ESP/same mood thingies. ^^ So it should go really smoothly. Especially knowing you.

Anyways, here's a little thing stolen from Elemm who stole it from Ellie. :P

Seven things that scare you:
1. Seeing other people's blood. I don't mind seeing my own blood, but those gory scenes in some movies can just be plain spine-chilling.
2. Ghost movies. THIS IS MY WEAKNESS. Thanks to my ever-rampant imagination, of course. // Imagination: *takes a low bow and blows kisses to audience*
3. Being forgotten.
4. Cockroaches, lizards...the works.
5. Losing someone I love.
6. Being sleepy in class. &__&
7. Reading too many poems by Sylvia Plath.

Seven things you like the most:
1. MSN!!! Yeah, being random with Maxy and Roy, being high with Av, making up poetry with Max...y'know. The norm.
2. Roleplaying. Ahahaaa, you saw this coming, didn't cha?
3. F_NT_SY. Would you like to buy a vowel?
4. Finding an awesome outfit.
5. Not being broke.
6. The people I love, of course. *angel halo of complete innocence*
7. DRAMA. :D:D:D:D:D]

Seven important things in your room:
1. [I wish I could say a computer, but unfortunately it's not in my room. My parents are too clever for that.] Uh...my stereo.
2. My comfort pillow. xD Yes...it's seen many good times and bad times.
3. My diary. Which I can't find now. WHODUNNIT?!
4. My Forgotten Realms books. My faves: The Halls of Stormweather, Heirs of Prophecy, Spellfire. YAY.
5. My teddy! ^^ *huggles teddy*
6. My...phone.
7. My Zen. And...*has to squeeze in something else*...and my wallet, of course. DUH.

Seven random facts about you:
1. Almost everything about me is random. ^^
2. I...almost regret entering the pageant that I did in P6. *shuddertwitch* Glitter...*convulsive jerk*
3. I discover new relatives every year.
4. I have a stupid habit of having my fringe over my face. Like Violet from the Incredible. (((:
5. XENADRINE IS GOOODDDD.
6. I, um, don't like shopping at Topshop. Actually, I don't really like buying branded goods. Must be the labels.
7. I WANTED TO BE A BALLERINA ONCE. LMAO. Me. A ballerina. ...Dream on.

Seven things you plan to do before you die:
1. Meet my Prince Charming. (:
2. Publish a novel and have it on the best-sellers list. Okay, scrap that last bit. It'll be an added bonus.
3. Learn to skateboard properly.
4. Be veryveryvery famous. // Evil pessimist twin: DREAM ON, CARA!!! // Me: *slap*// Evil pessimist twin: *twitch*
5. Go on one perfect, unforgettable date.
6. Master a new language. Or at least learn a little of it.
7. GET FITTER. ))))):

Seven things that attract you to the opposite sex:
1. His likes. DUH. If he doesn't like fantasy and writing, he's a no-goer.
2. Eyes. :D
3. ...uh...nose?
4. A heart-melting smile and an awesome laugh.
5. ...physique, I suppose.
6. His imagination. AHEM. By that, I meant that he should be able to create wonderful worlds and stories and that way we'll be kindred spirits. That was to clear up any misunderstanding that I know you warp-minded people would probably have had. xD
7. His heart.

Seven things you say the most:
1. 'LO!
2. 'Sup?
3. [on AU] Greetings, mellon nin, and well met.
4. [on AU] May the stars of Elbereth guide your paths.
5. [in rl AND on AU] ...Aye.
6. *cue for deadpan stare* ...Duh.
7. Huh? *blank look*

Seven celeb crushes [whether foreign or local]:
1. [Okay, Joshua Ang and Shawn Lee are soooo not gonna appear here. Sorry Maxy and Yi Ling and Lao Shi. (:] Keanu Reeves.
2. HAYDEN CHRISTIANSEN.....
3. Tom Welling. :D
4. Eric Bana. Not really for his looks, but his superb acting abilities.
5. Darn I forgot his name. He used to look realllly sweet in that movie Xenon: Girl from the 21st century. But now he's kinda grown up and he acts in Everwood, and he's not as cute anymore.
6. The whole jinx gang from Simple Plan. :D
7. Um. NA.

Seven favourite drinks:
1. Iced watermelon juice.
2. Grass jelly.
3. Wintermelon tea.
4. Zappel.
5. Cherryade.
6. Ice lemon tea.
7. But water is still the healthiest. ^^

Seven memorable shows you used to watch as a kid:
1. BINGO AND MOLLY. Muahahaaaa. It was about these two fluffy little bunnies with a carrot patch in their backyard and a badger for a best friend. WHEE.
2. Magic Mountain!
3. Barney. :D:D:D I loooooove Imagination Island. LOVELOVE.
4. *deep dark secret time* ...Tellytubbies. *shudderrrr*
5. Dragon tales!!!!!!
6. This sentence is redundant.
7. This sentence decided to follow the trend and is redundant too.

~Kayness, so that's done with. :D Well, I'm off to do my English homework now.

Ta, loves!

2006-02-03T23:49:00.000-08:00

SLEEP IS GOOD.

I've been spending my time talking with Roy, jabbering incessantly over MSN with Maxy and Nic, reading people's blogs, and now I'm waiting for my parents to come home.

COMPUTER LOCK DOWN. DOOMDOOMDOOM.
Sob.
Pity me, oh yes, let's throw a pity party.
I'll bring the chips.

I'm randomly thinking of Drama Night.
I'm happy I got the part of Jaime. But y'know, she doesn't say a lot. I know that's not important, but I LIKE SAM'S ROLE. She's so chirpy and bouncy and fun and AAAHH. And Jaime's just this loner...an outsider. Which I guess will actually be pretty fun to play.
That is, if the director doesn't boot me from the cast...*bites nails*...which I hope he won't.
I mean, ONE person fired from the cast within the first three weeks?
Ouch.
I really hope it isn't me, but at the same time I hope desperately that he's not going to boot ANYONE out, because the cast is awesome.

Um, yes. And one advantage of being Jaime is that I get to wear a nice uptown-ish CROSS notverymodern outfit. So think Oliver Twist-yish, or the Dodger-ish. ^^ Squeee. <333

I realized that I left my History notes in class!!! Grrrrr...I could SLAUGHTER myself. I meant to study TODAY. So much for making an effort. *grump* Hmph. Well, I'm going to study for Chinese. Wahahaaa. At least, try to.

Strangely enough, I'm not hungry. I just have a craving for KFC....no, no, don't think of it...dooonnnn'tttt.....

::mellow::

I'm lethargic. And bored out of my wits.

Gahh. And the problem is that actually I do have things to do, but I don't feel like doing them.

10 more days to Valentine's Day. I think I'd still rather be in MGS than a co-ed. No, really. REALLY! *protests* All girls' schools are nice. ^^ *nods*

I'd better go and clear up my room now, before the folks come home and go ballistic over my room. xD YAY MUM AND DAD GOT ME NEW PLATFORMS! To replace my black ones which are falling apart. Wheeeeeee. I can't wait.

Ta, lurves!

2006-02-03T21:34:00.000-08:00

'lo again, dears.
I'm feeling so lethargic now, you can't imagine.
Huh. I need a sugar rush.

I got high on music yesterday. ((: And it was nice, but now I feel like just lying down and sleeping and stoning.

I HEART RELIENT K. Wheee. They rock! No, really. And I <3333 Eminem's "Welcome to Detroit City".

Heh. Y'know, I can't believe Avril Lavigne is going haute couture. With a modelling agency. And wearing Chanel. Grrrrrr. What happened to that self-acclaimed punk rock girl we all knew?
Okay, so people grow up. It's normal. But still...I can't reconcile CHANEL with GRUNGE. It's like...err. Just strange and unnatural.

Stupid Yahoo Music Videos...*clobbers* ...work, for goodness sakes! You're my only hope now, besides HBO...GAHHH do you see what you're doing to me?! WORK, I tell you!!!

I...am....so dead. I feel so UGH.

I'm going down to watch teevee and try to while away my inane-ness.

Ta for now!

2006-02-02T06:55:00.000-08:00

Hello :D

Guess what?

*insert drum roll here*

...I'm feeling so much more cheered up!

First, I'd like to thank all the wonderful people who helped to make today a great day- despite my tuition classes. [not in order]
[the people, I mean, not the tuition classes.]

Audd- Thanks for being such a nice-person-to-sit-next-to^^ Pwink Pwincess and the Bwirthday Pwincess! [Or is it Bwirtday Pwincess?] Thanks for writing my name so prettifully on my Drama Night script and making it look as if my handwriting's suddenly become so nice ((: Squee. Question-asker. You make me feel so inferior in class, HMPH. With all your incredibly deep questions and everything. *laughs* But know what? Even though I love black and you're obsessed with pink...even though my dress sense is abstract and yours is girly, I love yah lootttsss. Rock on, dear. (:

Cheryl and Shu- For some reason, I just hafta group your names together, since you're forever teasing me as a pair. So treat this as divine retribution, so there, you pears. (: I love you both. Thanks for laughing over our hopeless maths [okay, so maybe mine was the only hopeless one, but ANYWAY] together; and for being such awesome people-to-sit-in-front-of. FRANK THE MURDERER!!! *gasp* Jaa all rule!

Nic- For coming sooo late to my house before Mrs. Choo's. Thank your lucky stars we met your dad on the way there. *grins* And Ms Nicole Chan Shu Wen and your evil twin. How DARE you call me Sleeping Beauty? I only fell asleep in one class! ^^ Oh, and for teasing me about all those countless things. AND for always getting maths questions correct, and complaining about your 29/30 marks when I got 18/30 for the maths test. -___- Smartass. :D Well, I guess it isn't your fault. Here's for all the times we squabbled over whether to do Maths or Science at Mrs Choo's. BUT I STILL SAY SCIENCE ROCKS MORE!

Max- For all the times we've rambled randomly and made awesome poetry together. :D Sorry for being such a downer today; I'm feeling tons better now. Try asking me in two days' time. xD But till then, I shall keep being high. Thanks for all the RPs...*grins impishly* The mistress and the slave...the dragon and the girl...the watercolour memories, aye. I'll always remember those. I've always enjoyed debating with you ((: For some strange reason. Freak. Nah, just kidding.
:D Thanks for being there to talk to me when I needed someone to talk to... For playing along with our lame soap opera scenes...and for so many other things which just all add up. ((((: Thankee dear!

Roy- For making me feel so inferiorly[I dont think there's such a word, but anyway] with your 1.88 m tall friend Dirk!!! *sob* Have you any idea what that did to my self esteem? xD Yeah...and for sending me all those songs; for the MSN smiley wars we had...and for all the times we've talked and laughed together. I MISS YOU BY BLINK 182! CATCH YOUR WAVE BY THE CLICK FIVE! Dude, I'm never gonna forget those songs. ((: They're special now, too. I can't wait til you come to Singapore. :D Roy Jun Yang Boelman. AKA Falling Pear. <3

Av- For correcting all my 'Ryadans' to 'Rydans'...[how was I 'pposed to know?] and for making Illistyl play the flute ohsobeautifully. *grin* For pissing me off in the morning at school, and making me laugh later on. Mood swings. One of these days I should really get you a mood ring and force you to wear it, as a safety precaution when I talk to you xP Nahh. I'm too nice to do that. For all your html-savviness and TALL SWIMMING GUY!!! Rock on, hun! :D

Ting- Skinny freak! How DARE you say you're pear-shaped? *laughs* Still. I'll never stop enjoying teasing you about *coughBENJAMINcoughcoughcough*. When you become a universally acclaimed figure skater and you totally top off the Regionals...be sure to wave at me in the grandstands, and throw the coral-coloured roses to me! ^^ And for your incredibly chim-ness and essays on abused children....I wonder what goes on in that deeeeep daaarrrkk mind of yours. (: Love you girl. :D:D:D

Chris and Tim- I hope you don't mind that I put your names together. After all, that's what being brothers is for. :D You guys totally made me crack up today with our weird little online gig. Green Day, huh? Tomtoms, aye? It was sooo fun, and I was laughing so hard I could barely stop. BUT TIM, I STILL SAY I PICKED UP THE BASS GUITAR FIRST. Pfft. ((: We were so retarded. But it was fun- and it really perked me up. It got me high, too! ^^ Love ya all lots, and thankyouthankyouthankyou! I'm never gonna forget the photo of Tim and the mixer. [sounds like a movie, sort of like "The Dancing Dentist" or summat] and Chris looking stoned. [Chris: I'm NOT looking stoned...I'm looking disinterested. //Me: Su-ure...] xD

Maxy- I saved your name for the last! :D WE HAD SO MUCH FUN, DIDN'T WE? I could barely stop laughing! Bad parrot who ate all the crackers. *croons in Kelly Clarkson style* Because of you, I had to do the sad parrot dance of not getting any crackers...
We are sooo spastic. We seriously need to consider investing in penthouse apartments in Woodbridge. I got stuck as an orange parrot! At least you and Roy got more colours than me): Aint fair, I tell yah, Gollum. Hmph. Well, at least I'm Smeagol and I wear CLOTHES- unlike Gollum. He's ohsomodestly dressed in a loincloth. And it's not even new. xD Anyways girl. Love yah loootttsss!<3333

2006-02-01T03:13:00.000-08:00

'know what?
I think I've just totally flunked on Hidden Realms.
Right now, I could kill Dornvald Kyrialstine AKA weird guy from France who thinks he's too good to play in our undertaken campaign.
First Vex left, and now him. Am I a total screw up? Oh, wow. So now I'm a fantasy flunker, too? A weirdo in both reality and fantasy? Thank you, Dornvald! OHH guess what...you just made my day. Oh, and thanks for your wonderful jabbing criticism, and for just telling me what I wanted to hear all along, until NOW. I mean, I do appreciate your playing along...but why didn't you just rephrase your words and not make them sound so bloody hurtful? Did you know that they hurt me? Oh wait-- did you even care?

Yep, and you've officially wrecked my entire evening, dear Ranger who loves trees and always manages to find fault with my character's mood and personality and life in general. Congratulations.

)): Somebody talk to me and give me a hug. I'm feeling so down..and it isn't just because of the aforementioned moron. I wish Max was on, or Roy...but Roy can only be on tonight at 11pm, and even then, only for a few minutes. And Max logged off a long time ago. ): I need to talk to him. I'm lonely, and my self esteem just got ripped at.

I'm feeling so bloody angry and upset; I think I'm just going to finish off this crappy quest and never go to Hidden Realms again. At least Mikkel's been really awesome all along- but it still hurts. It hurts so much.

I mean, look. When reality hurts me-- I run to fantasy, right? And now that fantasy has hurt me...where do I go?
I know this seems like a small thing. But think about it. There's an underlying current there. Are both reality and fantasy going to reject me?

I know I'm probably overreacting. But you guys all know I'm sensitive. [Even though that totally just sounded like a loser statement.]

I'm going to have dinner, finish off my maths, talk to Bree, and hope that somebody will talk to me later on.

Later.

2006-02-01T01:30:00.000-08:00

hello. It's me again, of course.
I'm trying to do my math tuition homework, and simply stoning in front of the screen.
I feel so useless. ):
Well, at least the CAP portfolio's safely out of the way- I just need to get the letter of undertaking signed. The letter of undertaking. For some reason, that reminds me incredibly of the guy at the funerals...what's he called? Oh yes. The undertaker. That was it.

I nodded off a few times during Chinese today. At least today's Wednesday- tisnt that bad. And I'm feeling better now, although I've got to pop out for a bit to get back the piano books I had to photocopy.

I see red.
It's pretty (:
But I'm in a weird mood now.
I shall continue blogging like a normal person.

There we go now.
Isn't it scary, how sometimes we hide behind our mask and nobody sees the real us? And then we get even better and better at shielding our faces with the jewels of let's-pretend. And so it goes. We become experts at hiding...experts at smiling- ahh, the beauty of those almost perfect smiles!
A whole lot of meaning can go behind a single MSN emot. Sometimes, it can be the hardest thing to type in a smiley like this ":D". And then the person on the other end doesn't know that anything's wrong with you; and he/she responds with something like this ":P" or ":D:D". And so it goes... And does anybody see the tears you wish you could cry, instead of faking a stupid, ohsocheery emot?

Sadly, no.

You know who you are. You're the ones who act for an unseen crowd- every minute of your living. You're the ones who go to sleep with the covers pulled up over you. You know what Shakespeare was talking about when he said "All the world's a stage". An innocent statement? ...Think about it. It might not be as simple as it sounds.

Well, I should go now. I may blog later.
Cya!

2006-01-31T06:56:00.000-08:00

Hello again.

What is wrong with me?
I'm feeling so lonely. Now, don't laugh like that. It isn't funny. It may sound funny-- but really it isn't at all...not one bit.

I'm trying to work on my Biology essay for the attachment to RMBR now. And I'm freaking Maxy and Nic out by talking as my evil twin. xD Weird, yes? Yes, but funn. I'm talking to Aemor as well. It's been some time since the both of us have conversed, and I'm still eternally grateful to him for helping me out with the Social Studies project I did on Croatia.

Roy isn't on, and neither is Max. Strange. I really miss talking to the both of them. And I'm not kidding this time. I really do. They're both awesome...and I've only spoken once with Roy today. I haven't seen Max around- I missed him by 53 minutes. Grrrr.

Chris is now my official online confidante! Max is too, of course...[although he doesn't exactly know it yet], and Roy is as well. But today, Chris was my confidante and he talked some things through with me. And it sorta helped.

I still feel lonely, though. I can't shake this feeling off, and it's scaring me. It's like that awful feeling of alone-ness that I get when I'm online at past midnight, and nobody else is on MSN. I don't know how to explain it. It probably sounds really lame, but it's what I mean. Mum and Dad are in Bali already. Mildred's probably asleep, and Jon and Jana are sleeping as well.

Here's a new poem I wrote today, for my CAP portfolio. It's entitled "Dear World", in case anyone was wondering.

Dear world;I've just realized
I'm not as strong as I thought
My reality was a pack of lies
And I was being who I'm not

Just burn my picture and go to sleep
I'll be dancing in the rain
We may die from medication
But we sure killed all the pain

Pretty faces lie really well-
That's something I have learnt
Will we all survive? Only time will tell
But you seem unconcerned

I took my Prozac today- I think I overdosed
It's like that when times are rough
But I see thirteen fingers and eleven toes
And I know I'm not thin enough

Please forgive me for not being pretty
I swear I tried my utmost best
I’m not smart or beautiful or even witty
And I failed at all the rest

Have I lost hope? I never said that
I only said that I’m in pain
So I'll clasp my two hands and hope that
My happy pills aren't driving me insane

I'm doing just fine - I'm not impaired
It's just that I can't see
Why you're bent on sending me for repairs...
When there's nothing wrong with me.

~ All right, I just finished talking to Roy. I feel better now. I'm talking to Aemor and Gary though...and Maxy and Nic.

I'm incredibly tired. Darn. It's past midnight now.

Loneliness...here I come again.

Night all.

2006-01-31T01:52:00.000-08:00

'lo. me here. as usual. as always. as always will be, too.

Anyway. I'm sitting in front of my computer now, stressing over what I'm going to do when my dad resets the password on this currently not-passworded computer; stressing over tiny, minute things that actually don't matter at all- unless you add 'em all up...and I'm tired.

I don't know why.

I just am.

And I know that it's probably just one of my moods again...and no, I'm not trying to be "gothic", or whatever you want to call it. I'm not even gothic to start with.

Am I demented, or am I just impaired? Why is it that I'm so sensitive to the smallest things? I mean; am I just over-reacting? What the hell is wrong with me?

It's just this constant ache inside which I can't explain.

And I laugh and I crack jokes and I poke fun at my weaknesses--- but inside, I'm so bloody tired of it all. Why is everyone pretending? Why is everything like this?

...I'm sorry. I totally shouldn't have ranted like that.
Anyways, I want to say sorry to Max again for that incident...a big hug from me too. And thanks Yi Ling- I'll be looking forward to Drama Night. Sorry Av for not being very much active on msn just now. I was just really tired and distracted. I wasn't being mean or anything. Thanks Maxy for tagging...thanks Jae for letting me come to your house today...(: and thanks everybody else.

That's all I have to say.

2006-01-26T03:11:00.000-08:00

I wanted you to know I love the way you laugh
I wanna hold you high and steal your pain away
I keep your photograph; I know it serves me well
I wanna hold you high and steal your pain

Cause I'm broken when I'm open
And I don't feel like I am strong enough
Cause I'm broken when I'm lonesome
And I don't feel right when you’re gone away

The worst is over now and we can breathe again
I wanna hold you high, you steal my pain away
There's so much left to learn, and no one left to fight
I wanna hold you high and steal your pain

Cause I'm broken when I'm open
And I dont feel like I am strong enough
Cause I'm broken when I'm lonesome
And I dont feel right when you’re gone away

Cause I'm broken when I'm open
And I dont feel like I am strong enough
Cause I'm broken when I'm lonesome
And I dont feel right when you’re gone away

~broken-- seether feat.amy lee.

i'm afraid of myself.

2006-01-25T04:12:00.000-08:00

...I just wanted to say thank y'all for a wonderful birthday yesterday. :D I really had fun. Ohohoh, and Max says to tell y'all that I'm still the birthday princess for the entire week! And birthday princesses have rights. xD

Guess what? I auditioned for Drama Night today...and I got in!! I got the lead role for the second night...woo! ^^ My gosh, I can't believe it. My character's called Jaime. :D I was so sure that I wasn't gonna get an acting part at all. It's an awesome play called Flowers in the Desert. And get this- it's 1.5 hours long, and the script's over 100 pages long. SOMEBODY HELP ME. I have lines in so many scenes, and I'm afraid I'm gonna mess 'em up somehow.

Our director's really cool. I mean, he's a little scary in the sense that he told us that one person from the cast is going to be fired within the first 3 weeks of rehearsal. Ulp. Hope that person isn't me. But I can tell that he knows what he's doing. He's a great guy.

It's gonna be a little complicated to play my character. Whyohwhy do I always get the cold, enigmatic characters? -sigh- Ahh well. It's going to be fun to take up the challenge. Jaime's an interesting character to analyze.

Thanks Maxy and Jae for saying that y'all are gonna help me ((: Thanks Maxy for listening to me rant over the phone, and thanks Jae for saying you'll help me- although I'm not quite sure how. Of course-- thankee Max, for all the support and encouragement you gave me over msn today...it really helped. No, seriously. It did. And also, thanks Roy for just listening to me, and for forcing me to go for Drama instead of talking to you, LOL! Love y'all lots.

2006-01-23T19:06:00.000-08:00

IT'S MY BIRTHDAY!

YAY. I'm gonna FINALLY get my lime-green creative zen today. FINALLY.

Thank you Maxy for taking the time to make that prettiful blog post to wish me a happy birthday. And thank you everybody else [especially 2Gians] for wishing me a happy birthday as well. ((: Love y'all TONS.

I just hope I don't flunk math today. That would be totally anti-climax. And I hope I get into Drama Night...I guess I'll just do my best for the auditions. If I don't get in, then so be it.

BIRTHDAYBIRTHDAY. Sorry. I can't get over it.

See?

Somebody help me get a life...[and a birthday present.] ((:

2006-01-22T22:40:00.000-08:00

heyy. haha! I'm blogging again.
this shall be a quick post since I'm at the school comp lab now, and I'm feeling pretty guilty since I should be at home. Heh.
Anyway. I'M SO SLEEPY. ARGH.
I fell asleep three times during Chinese class...and during the Prefects Installation when we were standing up to sing the hymn...I fell asleep. On my feet. I mean, go figure. Who falls asleep on their feet? Nobody. Except me, that is. And since I fell asleep, my knees sort of just buckled under me and I almost fell down. In the middle of the hymn. &A*(&(*SAUIHSA!!!

How embarrassing. ...but in any case. I'm talking to Max on msn now-- I'm totally drained, and I should get home soon. I just can't bring myself to, though.

PARTY PICTURES WILL BE UP AS SOON AS I CAN GET THEM UP ((:

2006-01-18T04:05:00.000-08:00

Go on and close the curtains
cause all we need is candle light
You and me and a bottle of wine
going to hold you tonight

Well we know I'm going away and how I wish,
I wish it weren't so
So take this wine and drink with me
let's delay our misery

Save tonight and fight the break of dawn
Come tomorrow tomorrow I'll be gone
Save tonight and fight the break of dawn
Come tomorrow tomorrow I'll be gone

There's a log on the fire and it burns like me for you
Tomorrow comes with one desire to take me away it's true
It ain't easy to say goodbye darling please don't start to cry
Cause girl you know I've got to go, oh Lord I wish it wasn't so

Save tonight and fight the break of dawn
Come tomorrow tomorrow I'll be gone
Save tonight and fight the break of dawn
Come tomorrow tomorrow I'll be gone

Tomorrow comes to take me away
I wish that I, that I could stay
Girl you know I've got to go, oh Lord I wish it wasn't so
Save tonight and fight the break of dawn
Come tomorrow tomorrow I'll be gone

Save tonight and fight the break of dawn
Come tomorrow tomorrow I'll be gone
Save tonight and fight the break of dawn
Come tomorrow tomorrow I'll be gone

Save tonight and fight the break of dawn
Come tomorrow tomorrow I'll be gone tomorrow
I'll be gone tomorrow I'll be gone tomorrow
I'll be gone tomorrow
I'll be gone
Save tonight
Save tonight
Save tonight

~ love you lots. (((: and thanks for the song.

2006-01-17T22:09:00.000-08:00

HEYY.
It's wednesday. HAHAHA. I'm talking to Max now, on msn. Gosh. It's been so long since we last talked. Since...heh. Last week. Still.
I'm in a happy, random mood today.

Today's English Elegies presentation went relatively well! In fact, much better than I expected. I think 2G liked the elegy we did. [Okay, so it was mostly me, but my wonderful group DID help and give me inspiration, and Maxy wrote one line of it ^^] I LOVE OUR ELEGY.
-cough- ...the elegy we did, at least. Not our elegy. Maxy's gonna post our elegy on her blog. I might do that too, so watch out for it.
The other presentations were majorly cool as well. ((: All in all, English was fun today.

I also had that Teacher-Student Conference today. Hmm. Lao Shi asked me if I was mostly optimistic or pessimistic. Heh. I didn't really give her a direct reply.

Drama's on in a bit. Should I audition for the Musical Extravanganza, or Drama Night? GOSH SOMEONE GIVE ME SOME DIVINE GUIDANCE.

HE-ELPP.

2006-01-17T03:45:00.000-08:00

...how was I to know that santan was the coconut milk and not the fermented fish sauce? I nearly made green curry with a beakerful of fermented fish sauce. >< Oh mann. Some curry that would have been.

I am so stressed. I can't believe I'm actually on blogger now. I've got so much to do! And I didn't even have time to board today.
...Okay, so maybe that was because it was raining most of the time. But still. That's not the point.
I so can't wait for the English Elegies presentation to be over and done with. Oh gosh. It's one of the main stress factors right now...-fiddles with hair and frowns at screen-. I'm talking to Maxy and Cheryl right now. Av's comp has chosen this opportune time to screw up on us...so.

I'd better get down to work. Ugh. Blog another time.
Cya!

2006-01-16T04:40:00.000-08:00

I'm in a strange mood.
I'm working on our English Elegies assignment now. It's so darn hard. Gosh. And ugh...I have to finish up our elegy and write the script and come up with more stuff...I'm feeling majorly stressed out right now.

CHERYL YOU'RE NOT ANSWERING ME ON MSN. I desperately, urgently need help now. Arrrgghhh. TALK TO ME.

Elemm's going to the BB concert. *tear* And I won't be able to meet her coz I'm not going. ...Not that I like Backstreet Boys anyway. I mean, they're all right...but in my opinion; they're getting a little too old to be calling themselves 'boys' any longer.

REMINDER TO SELF:
1. bring home econs stuff.
2.bring lab coat.
3. print out Commonwealth essay.
4. print out Geog population pyramids documents.
5. Do ISO research on sociologists and physicists.

*grins* I'm talking to Maxy on the phone now. Heh. YAY. Finally, someone who will actually talk to me. Oh, joy.

Av...we love you, kay girl? No matter what other people say about you...we're your friends. And I know that sometimes you get really riled at us, and I know that sometimes you hate us to the core. BUTBUTBUT. We'll always be your friends, like it or not. Don't you dare forget that. You can always talk to us.
I'm not taking sides in this sensitive issue...but Av, just know that we're here for you. As a matter of fact, give me five minutes and I'm going to call you. *nods* Maxy and I, actually.

~five minutes later~...Av...your handphone's off. ))):

Um, okay. Friday's taking an eternity to get here.

Ohoh, and I can actually skateboard for nuts now. xD. Yeah. I went boarding again today. I intend to go again tomorrow. It was so darn funny...I nearly rolled over a squished frog. >< Majorly grossed out. But it was fun. Definitely. And that goes to show that boys aren't the only ones who can skateboard.

2006-01-15T04:51:00.000-08:00

'lo yet again!
I'M FEELING SO GOOD. Muahahaha. I finished up all of my Social Studies homework at home, so now I can slack in the comp lab. Ahh, the good life.

I'm gonna go boarding again today after school. Sorry Maxy. I know I was squealing over the phone last night. I was trying not to fall off my board.

I CAN'T WAIT FOR FRIDAY!! xD

…Sorry. Random outburst. Really, I'm always either too tired or too bored or too lazy or too busy. *laughs* I’m actually typing this on Microsoft Word right now so I don't look too suspicious. And then I'll paste it onto blogger…and tada! Brilliante. ((:

Y'know…I just realized that if I audition for Drama Night, I'm gonna have really little time to myself. More so if I sign up for the MGS Musical Extravaganza. Oh, darn. Then I'll have no time for doing those things which I account for as fun…like writing and reading and talking on MSN…and boarding. Should I go for Drama Night or the Extravaganza?!?! Oh gosh somebody help me. ))): I'm so torn.

Randomosity.

Time started:8.13 pm
~*GENERAL*~
First name: Cara
Last name: Neo.
Birthday: 24 January. The year should be pretty obvious- it's staring you straight in the face.
Horoscope: Aquarius. YAY I GOT THE WATERBEARER.
First three digits of mobile phone: 975
Hair color: Black/very very very dark brown
Eye color: Dark.
Height: 158.5cm, but I'm certain that Yi Ling made a parallax error of some sort. At least I hope so. I mean, Maxy and Sarah and I can't all have shrunk, could we?
Hairstyle: Shoulder length and loose.
Nickname: Uh. Look at my profile, blindass.
Gender: Female.
Siblings: A little sister and a little brother...I WANTED AN OLDER BROTHER TOO.
Current job: Student.
Piercings: The norm.
Tattoos: If I wanna be grounded AGAIN and die a premature death, then yeah!
Religion: Christian.

~*FAVORITES*~
Drink: Cherryade[ lol I know Av hates it], Wintermelon tea.
Food: Seafood, junk food...whatever. Just NOT chocolate-covered pink marshmallow fish. (:
Month: December.
Animal: Horse/Wolf
Colour: Red/black/silver. Let's keep it simple, aye.
Film: LotR, Troy, Sleepover.
Website: A-U, wizards.com, musicvideocodes.com. The list goes on. I mean, hello. It's the internet.
Band: Evanescence, G.C, Green Day, Fall out Boy, All American Rejects, Simple Plan.
Song: Now, y'mean? Hmm. Going under[ I like the music video], I Miss You, Here Without You.
Person: Max Av Jae Ting Nic Elemm...the list goes on.
Subject (in school): English!! And naturally, recess.
Activtity (at home): Writing/stoning in front of the comp/Rping.
Occupation: Um...trying asking me a few years down the road.
Actor: OB, Johnny Depp, Keanu Reeves...yadayada.
Actress: Keira Knightley, Liv Tyler, Natalie Portman.
Singer: Amy Lee, Shakira, Josh Groban, um...
Book: Forgotten Realms. Like you had to ask.
Guy pal offline: Frankly- I have no idea.
Guy pal online: Hmm. I don't know. Max? Roy? Aemor? All are really nice.
Girl pal offline: Max, Av, Nic, Jae, Ting, Shu, Audd, Cheryl ^^
Girl pal online: Well. Elemm, Yav, Lothieeee. ((:
Brand of shoe: Converse.
Brand of clothing: I don't know. I don't really go for the brand thing.
Number: 2.
Day of the week: Saturday!
Country: New Zealand...whatever.
~*THIS OR THAT*~
Pepsi or Coke: Coke.
Homeschool or public school: Public!
Hilary Duff or Lindsay Lohan: Lindsay.
Simple Plan or Green day: What sort of question is this?!?!
Punk or classical: Punk, but classical is okay.
Rock or pop: Rock.
Sunny or rainy: Rainy
Asia or Europe: Europe, definitely!
McDonalds or Burger King: Depends on my mood.
Ben Affleck or Josh Hartnett: Josh...
LotR or PotC: LotR, even though PotC rocks too.
Harry Potter or Cedric Diggory: I haven't watched HP...so I have no idea. Sorry, Hp-fans.
Singing or dancing: Singing! I can't dance to save my life, fyi.
Morning or night: LISTEN TO THE MUSIC OF THE NIGHHHTT.
Ricola or Lakerol: Lakerol.
Spring or Autumn: Autumn
~*CURRENTLY*~
Eating: Nothing
Drinking: Nothing
Listening to: The sound of the aircon.
Wearing: A black Harley Davidson tee and shorts.
Watching: my comp screen. Duh.
Doing: The email, lurking at A-U. Obsessed with: Nothing...the normals.
Doing: MSN, and a history project.
Obsessed with: This is so predictable.
Wanting: To audition for drama night.
Weather/Temperature: Cool and cloudy.
Talking to: Just finished talking with Roy. Heh. He's getting me my early birthday prezzie, but I have no idea how he's gonna get it from Rotterdam to Singapore. Oh, and I'm talking to Ning as well.
~*LAST TIME YOU*~
Hugged someone: Hmm, maybe yesterday.
Kissed someone: Er. In rp, I kissed a dragon's nose today. ^^ In rl? Nahh.
Talked to someone over the phone: Today.
Talked to someone in rl: My sister and brother are coming upstairs constantly to ask for help with their homework, so whadya expect?
Talked to someone online:SECONDS ago.
Had a meal: I don't count that kind of thing.
Read a book: Last night.
Listened to music: Today.
Cried: I...don't know.
Injured yourself: Um. I hurt my wrist while boarding today. Does that count?
Got sick: This is so random.
Saw your significant other: mmmhm, don't have one, and fine with it.
Went out with a friend: Hmm. I'm not sure...heh.
Watched a movie: GRIND!! Yesterday. Oh gosh it is so darn cool.
~*OTHERS*~
Describe the person who sent this to you in five words: Elemm? Hmm. Sweet, awesome, a real friend, wild, a majorly great Rper...yepp.
Your current favorite five songs: Going Under, I Miss You, She's a Rebel, The Anthem, Here Without You.
Your current favorite five actors/actresses:The normal bunch.
Who you hope will respond: *shrugs* Whoever.
Are you excited for anything right now: FRIDAY!!! <333>
Do you have a current crush: Uhh. No. And this I swear.
Have you ever asked anyone out: Nope. Shouldn't it be the other way round?
How many close girl pals do you have: Around 6.
How many close guy pals do you have: Nada! Except online.
If there were 1 thing you could change about yourself, what would it be: Uhh...my eyes? Nose? Gosh Idk.
What would you change your name to (if you don't like it): I'm okay with my name. But maybe a more exotic name would be nice. I wish my name was Ciara. Just add an "i"...
Time ended:8.45pm
How long you took to finish this quiz: Do the math yourself. I've got homework to do.

2006-01-14T22:12:00.000-08:00

i suck at life but i'm wicked cool.
haha. That was random. Sorry. Anyways, I thought that to commemorate the putting-up of this new skin, I should make a blogpost. -nods wisely-
Yes, so. I've been slogging on school assignments...getting pestered by my little brother...PLUS I'm sore from boarding yesterday. I practised boarding until midnight and I can sort of balance on it now, but I'm still pretty rubbishy at it. Oh well. As they say, practice makes [almost] perfect.

I'm talking to Max online now, and we had a brilliant RP just now. Hey, don't look at me like that, aye. I haven't RPed in a long time, I swear. In a few weeks. And I think our RP has given me a spark of inspiration. ((: Yay. Max doesn't have writers' block any longer.

My Commonwealth essay is pretty weird. I mean, really. I don't really like it-- but at least tis better than my proposed novelisation of the suicidal clowns. Heh.
You know, I could really be in a horrid mood because of her and her childish rants. Most of you don't know her, but really. Sometimes her moanings and grumblings just make me see red. But I'm not going to let someone else's bad mood drag me down, so there. It so isn't worthwhile.

Yesterday was fun ((: Cheryl made me eat the tail of a chocolate-covered pink marshmallow fish. I nearly got sick. Have I ever mentioned that I HATE marshmallows? Especially pink chocolate-covered ones. Unless, of course, they're roasted. (: I roast marshmallows every night in my room, by means of a candle. xD It sounds weird, but it works!

Well. It's back to the dull monotony of homework again. I'll blog again soon. Ta!

2006-01-14T03:37:00.000-08:00

hey again.
Oh gosh, I'm aching all over. I bussed all the way to Queensway to get my new skateboard. Whee. Anyway, I managed to get one, and I boarded home-- after Cheryl and her granddad dropped me off.
I can't believe it...my skateboard went into the drain. Those big, deep-down types. And I had to climb in...[luckily it wasn't wet] and get my board out. At least my board's still okay. It isn't dirty or anything.

Cheryl and I were in her granddad's car...and then Superstar came on the radio. It was so darn funny...we started doing the dance moves along with it. We were so lame! And just then, I happened to look out of the window-- and I saw this skater guy staring at us. Oh gosh. We must have looked like right morons. And he kept staring, all the way until we couldn't see him any longer. Strange.

Anyways. I'm hungry. Time for dinner. Namarie!

2006-01-10T23:50:00.000-08:00

why won't these words just come easily to me
I'm the one with the blindfold but you just don't see
each moment with you feels like a nightmare of years
I smile when I see you but you don't see the tears

I wish you could accept it and make up your mind
will you fix my shattered wings or will you leave me behind?
I laugh and I grin but it might all just be pretend
My guardian, my buddy...my imaginary friend

I tell you almost everything but what matters the most
A dark wave of pain like a cocaine overdose
A broken symphony, a dirge; an orchestra in red
It's as simple as forgetting me...just take me as dead

the music from the stereo speaks the words I cannot say
an angel in shackles, bound for forever and a day
the question of why people die to live, or live to die
In anguish to laugh, and in happiness to cry.

2006-01-10T19:21:00.000-08:00

another weird rambling of another weird girl.
YAY. I'm in the comp lab again, [well, duh] and I'm with Ting.
As usual, I'm talking to Max...and I thought that p'raps I'd just post the very first poem that we did.

watching as the stars roll around,
i'll keep my head to the ground
and bless the nothing i have found

and sing as the dirge of nightfall,
in all its freakish imageries;
sweetly murdered by dawn in a hundred thousand heraldries.

the heraldries i sing
will no sadness bring...
the emptyness of the sky mirrors the inner lie.

the truth of a shattered snow-dove's sigh
belies the reason why fallen angels cry...
and the nothingness of eternal sleep delves down low and delves down deep.

deep below there isn't any snow...
i'll take you away and watch you grow.
the lie will whither as i take you hither

and press all flat the wrinklesthat mar your heart like candy sprinkles…
the sky still shouts out its little lie
but we know that angels near us will suddenly fly

-Max Porter Zasada and Cara Neo, 2006.

I can't wait for my birthday. (((: Whee. Finally I have an excuse to buy my Forgotten Realms books, which ordinarily my parents would disapprove of. Naturally, they'll still disapprove- but tis my birthday. I have rights. ^^

Ahh well. We're making up another poem now...better go. I need focus. -grins-

2006-01-09T23:38:00.000-08:00

a strange mood at a strange time.
'lo yet again.
I've been talking to Max [aka Moox] on msn, and also attempting to complete my work. I'm sorry for neglecting this blog frightfully- I just haven't been in the mood to type out long, random blog posts and to ramble on and on aimlessly about things that actually don't make an eon of difference in my life.

However, Max and I wrote some poetry...random ramblings, you understand- but I wanted to put them here anyway.

The shattering of your plastic crown
When all the world comes crumbling down
Dancing a jig on your laughing grave
The one Redemption could not save

If only I heard you then
The effervescent glory
We are only men
Thus began the story
The beauty was ended
When power descended

I saw your fallen guardian angel crying
As your imposed perfection lay dying
He sold his soul to save your sin…
But no grace could redeem the void within.

This was the beginning of death
Afterwards came sex and meth
The angel's weeping of dry tears
Emptied me and took away my fears

A lone fiddler on your coffin-- a swan's dying song.
Who could have known that the path of glamour was so wrong?
The beggar in the mansion, the tearstains on the knife.
I told you you shouldn't have played around with life.

Never said there was something wrong
but sometimes things take too long
I wonder if death is a song

Perhaps it is...a angel's broken praise;
Arms so numb I could not raise.
The truth is here, deep inside me...
But the switchblade guards it too hard to see

Without a word to say
That was a dark day
I could only pray
We'd find it before we were grey

The silent screams no-one seems to hear;
The death knell of each passing year
Sometimes it's hard to understand...
When the world falls down...will you hold my hand?

The things we grip to
Feelings that hold us like glue
I know you wanted only a moment
but that's not what the angel sent

Ignore the whens and hows and whys;
And they wonder why at night he cries.
His friends-turned-foes, they watched him drown
Laughed as his world was turned upside down.

Your angelic sympathy
Opened pathways for me
Even when I broke your wing
You continued to sing
I can only think of the tears I'll bring

Anything could end now
If only we knew how

A pathway less trodden, dove of imaginary light;
The white hungry fangs which devoured the night
An unwritten chapter on your crumbling page;
The never-ending nightmare, the end of an age.

-Max Porter Zasada and Cara Neo, 2006.

There we go now. Perhaps one day, when I'm in the mood, I'll post the first poem that we did. Thanks again, Max. (: Midnight in LA, aye? Night, then.

2006-01-08T03:03:00.000-08:00

me again. Today's been a rainy day...almost as if Heaven's crying for someone, or something.
I can feel it in my bones...I just feel strange, somehow.
I had a good RP and a nice ol' ramble with Moox on msn, though. The both of us made up random poems and completed each other's poems...twas really fun. And gosh is his randomness profound. I'll let you see some of it sometime.

I'm stuck doing homework. Bleah.
Well, I should go. Not in the mood to blog much.

2006-01-03T18:58:00.000-08:00

this is weird.
heylo again.
Haha...I'm in school now. 45 minutes of recess! Woohoo. ^^
I'm at the comp lab now with Ting and Av...Maxy and Jae and Nic will be coming up soon, I guess.

stupid iso. Now we have to make some awful decisions...including our grouping order...and our topic. I think we're doing mythology. At least, something mythologically related....like griffins and phoenixes [actually, there's only one phoenix in the world, so yeah] and folklore. How awesome.

I'm not gonna blog any longer for this post. Got some research to do. Namarie!

2006-01-01T02:14:00.000-08:00

what's so special 'bout today?
'lo again. (((:
Today's New Year's Day! Actually...I don't feel anything particularly special about it. It just feels normal. Oh, last night I watched Envy with Mum and Dad. [starring Ben Stiller and Jack Black] It was so darn funny! And weird. And lame. And altogether a decent popcorn flick.

Then at night, we kept hearing these sudden exploding noises. I was like, "whoa...". It stopped for a while- but after Mum and Dad and basically everyone 'cept me had gone to sleep, the noises started again. Trust my ever-rampant imagination to act up on me. I kept worrying that the noises were gunshots [and I heard screaming too, which only freaked me out more], and that some gang of serial killers were prowling from house to house in the Namly estate, slamming open doors and merrily killing off people. [Hence the screams] And before the victims could warn anyone else in the estate about the shooters, they had already been riddled with bullets, so they couldn't do anything. I got so freaked. Sheesh. And...know what the supposed gunshots were? New Year's fireworks. Gosh. I could have kicked myself hard.

Anyways. Today after church I went down to Cine. I went to Comicsmart...and they're out of the AD&D PHB 3.5, dammit. When I last called they said they had it. Ain't fair.
Ahem. But then I saw this group laughing and sitting around the table in Comicsmart, and then I was like, "Are you all D&D players?" And yes, they were. They let me sit in to watch their game- it was so fun. I mean, they're all waaay older than me, like in their twenties and stuff...but they were so funny! They all just kept cracking up... but their DM was good, and I could tell that they were really serious about RPing. I also found out that one guy [the guy in the black billabong shirt in the third picture] had his character die in last week's game. Poor dude. I had one of my charries fried to a crisp once and that charrie wasn't even lvl 2 yet, so I know how he feels. Anyway. So they were trying to ward off/avoid a swarm of insects capable of entering your body [eww] [represented by the red shiny stones], and also trying to save the people in the house [the grid pattern is the house, and the people inside are represented by the blue stones. The PCs are represented by all the different figurines.]
And the poor guy whose charrie died...he was like [in the midst of all the action and excitement] , " By the way, y'all...where did my body go? [my body as in his character's body]". Then they all froze for a sec, then they were like, "We think we put you in the bag of holding." [aka a big fat sack...teehee.] His reaction: "...Whaaa...? Hello I am- was - your companion. Not only did you all think of looting my body when I died, but you stuff me into a friggin sack?!?!"
Rofl....so funny. Then the DM was like, " Dude. Think of it as a body bag."
The poor guy went positively green.

Yeah...I went to Comicsmart and Borders and Kino [ I WALKED to all three places] and they were out of stock of the AD&D PHB. So I made some calls...Raffles City Comicsmart has it, and I've reserved it. Muahaha. Finally.

2005-12-30T23:12:00.000-08:00

cara's new year resolutions
[which will prolly be broken sooner or later, but oh well.]

1. Cara will do her best to listen and not stone off when it comes to maths class.
2. Cara will hand up her homework in time. [Okay, I'm expecting this one to be broken more than once.]
3. Cara will hand up her Chem assignments in time. [I so do not want to have to do another long reflections on the importance of Time Management again.]
4. Cara will tag on AU...in moderation.
5. Cara will not become overly-obsessed with D&D.
6. Cara will [do her best to] make her handwriting [much] smaller in order to cater to Av's [equally as small] handwriting in the new fic.
7. Cara will ~~not~~ tease Maxy relentlessly about Maxy's countless suitors.
8. Cara ~~will laugh uncontrollably~~ will not snigger when Yiting mentions Benjamin. *coughCRUSHcoughcough*
9. Cara will ~~try~~ not to picture Jae as a fluffy-maned lion [Wizard of Oz]whenever Cara sees the Narnia poster with the picture of Aslan on it.
10. Cara will start dressing down and dressing like Nic deah. <3 [I'm betting this one will be the first to be broken...I don't even have OP shorts. Or anything pale pink, for that matter.]

2005-12-30T22:56:00.000-08:00

it's all happening so fast.
'lo. ^^
I understand the d20 system! [weell, sort of. not everything.]
I had somebody on wizards.com explain it to me. I'm going to be extremely broke after I've bought the materials [PHB: $56.60 and dice: $? and other materials: $+++]

WELCOME BACK MAXY AND NIC!!! *hangs a big welcome back banner* ((:

okay you must excuse my hyperish-ness. I didn't take any sugar today, so it can't be a sugar high...I think I'm just really weird in general. I'm sure everyone agrees on that too. Anyways. I'm working on Chem ppt now...it's all right, I guess- but I don't expect to get extraordinarily high marks for it. My animations are really simple, and the stupid Thomson atom looks so big and clunky.

I can't believe the holidays are over so fast. Another year of school...and we'll all be in Sec Two. It feels so strange. It's the last day of the New Year today, and I don't really intend to make any resolutions, because from experience I know that I'll probably end up breaking all of them in the end.

Oh, oh, and...the guy who explained the d20 stuff to me- yeah, we went on msn and I viewed him on webcam. *wrinkles nose* He looks like Peter Jackson!!!! Lmao it sounds so funny now but it was really freaky then. I mean, he was making all these retarded faces at the webcam and I think I'm going to have nightmares for a week now... But I guess he was all right, personality wise. But still. Peter Jackson. *shudder*

Av, remember to bring our fic on the first day of school ((: And don't worry, there's only one person in the entire story with a name starting with "D", and that's Dorian. The neutral leader/Cierryne's half-brother. Another thing...I think we shouldn't rename the elves and call them Illuvrien. It's just strange. I mean, it's quite obvious they're Elves, so let's just call them so. Like, it'll be plain queer if you had peas on your plate and called them chocolate instead. [i wish...i hate peas.] So yeah. Yay- you killed Araindur. Brilliant... and I can't wait. Oh, and can we like make our story a trifle lighter? Cos most of the time we're always writing those sorts of the-world-is-in-danger-and-only-our-characters-can-save-it kind of thing. Which is nice- but twould be interesting to have our characters engage in casual banter, etc. I can't wait to see what you wrote.

Speaking of which...I'm starting on another story. I mean, I've started on it already, but you know what I mean. It's based on an RP I had, and this time I'm involving all sorts of characters. I'm going to ramble now- so do NOT steal any story ideas, in case any lurkers are reading this. Besides having a Ranger and a Mage, I'm going to put in a cleric and a rogue, and a few others besides. It's going to be so much fun writing once I've put in the rogue. He's the one who's always at people's netherends, spouting his redundant lame cracks and with his witty sarcasm. And I'm thinking of having a fat character in my story as well...maybe the cleric. *grin* Ohh, I love torturing my charries. A plump, well-girthed, bumbling ~~lump of a~~ priest.

Ahh well. Maybe the new year isn't going to be so bad after all. And I'm now considering making New Year's resolutions. Quite contradictory to my aforementioned statement...but it doesn't matter.

2005-12-30T18:54:00.000-08:00

YAY!
omg...I finally got a new phone. Mum [and Jon and Jana] and I went to Plaza Sing, and we went to the mobile shop there. Hmph. My Samsung phone was worth $600 when we first bought it [this year, from the airport duty-free store], and now its trade-in value is like $150. Ahh well. You give and you take, aye?

So I was in a mess... it was a decision between the Motorola Razor, the Motorola L6, and the Motorola ROKR. The Razor was nice- even though I normally can't abide pink- but it had really limited memory space, despite the awesome phone design. Sigh. So tempting.
The L6's only 3 weeks old in the market, apparently. It's superslim- I've seen the ads before on TV. It was really nice too, but it was too skinny for my taste, and besides...it had limited memory space as well.

So- I got the ROKR! *big grin* The design isn't all that great- but I love my phone...*huggles phone*. It's got webaccess[but it's really ex], and all the usual features. And it has i-Tunes, and stereo surround sound. ^^ Brill. THANK YOU MUM AND DAD! [even though you two won't read this but anyway.]

And Mum and Dad got me the lime-green Creative Zen MP3 player for my birthday. I can't use it yet, though. I was going to get the i-Pod nano, but it looks so weird. I don't like the design at all. And the memory sucks...it can only store 2GB. Which is less than other mp3 players. Some of them, in any case.
I wanted the i-Pod mini, because the colours are so prettiful and all...but apparently that model is on the verge of becoming obsolete now. Pity, really.

I was contemplating whether I should get the Zen Neeon...but I don't like the design either, and the shop wasn't selling the charger for that model. So I got my Zen mini((:.....*huggles zen mini box* ....Yay.

That's all for now. I just needed to release some high-ness. ^^;;

2005-12-29T04:14:00.000-08:00

thursday night rambles.
she is so annoying. It's that stupid Christmas prezzie mix-up...and now that I'm alone here she thinks she can pick on me and slam me with her sarcasm. I mean, really. C'mon. Only she would stoop that low. She thinks she's all that, just because she's rich and married an expat and all that. Well, you know what? She'll never be anything more than a stingy old, haggard, anorexic miser.I hate her. If she thinks she can pick on my sister, then she's got another thought coming. If she was an rp character...I would seriously make Alusair Taelith kick some ass. Oh yeah. And then I'd stab her through with Alusair's +4 sword [now that's talking] and give it a good wrench...like what Av and I do to kill off soldiers in our fics. And then I'd gut her and string her up, or maybe whack off her head as a prize. Hah. If only I could do that in real life.

But other than that, I love my family. Jie Jie Angie is soo nice. She studies fashion and makes accessories, and she's going to make me something for my birthday-which is in less than a month! *huggles Angie plushie* ^^ If you want to see some of the stuff she's made- her link's there. The stuff she makes is really unusual...nonconventional and all.

And moving on. I'm on AU now, trying to drown my anger through RPing. I've got a new charrie-- Dorian. It's so fun to play him...it reminds me of Jae's Danther charrie. He's like this [Dorian, not Danther] really sweet guy who's the big flirt. [he's just been awarded the Big Flirt of AU title, whee ^^], and it's really really fun to play him. Although it's pretty weird, but yeah. Still fun. He has...*counts*...four rp lady charries hanging over him now. *grins* But they all know he's only a charrie, of course. Duh.

Jae- I dont know, I really don't. The injections for teeth hurt more than the extractions do. And the unconscious bit sounds inordinately frightening, although my threshold for pain isn't very low. Still...it's up to you. [sorry, random paragraph.]

2005-12-29T02:33:00.000-08:00

whee.
Hey again.
I'm on [no prizes for guessing...] wizards.com, and AU, and outpost. It's so deserted. Outpost, I mean. I don't even know why I still go there. AU's all right...not particularly jump-around-and-have-a-blast kind of fun, but still manageable. And wizards.com...hmm. How shall I describe it?

I'm having an RP with KnightoftheRose [PC: Ander Diaccherea], and his english isn't the best of the best. Not that mine is, of course. My english sucks. But anyway. I do wish he would clean up his spelling errors, though. I can't stand spelling errors...grrrr. Ahh well. He seems nice, and I shall not be prejudiced based on someone's lack of touchtyping skills. ^^ Even though I'm tempting to blog a whole list of all his typos so far...*fingertwitch*...no, no, I shan't be so mean.
This rp is moving so slooowwwwlllyyy.
Ander go to sleeeeep....so Alusair can sleep too.

oh you know, my birthday's in less than a month. ^^ My dad says that if my mum allows, they'll get me an i-Pod nano. Omg...I hope mum says yes. PLEASE SAY YES!!!! And then I shall use the rest of my birthday money to buy Forgotten Realms books. For some reason, I seem to like them better than Dragonlance, even though the majority of gamers I've met prefer Dragonlance. I don't know...Elminster somehow appeals more to me than Caramon or Raistlin does. I wonder if I should buy the Dark Elf trilogy. So cool. But then again, I want to buy the Paths of Darkness series--but mum and dad probably won't allow it, thanks to its title.

AND jae...you don't have to pool with anyone to get my AD&D PHB Version 3.5 now. Cos I can get it with my own money (: And it's too long a wait to wait til my birthday before I get it. So Maxy and Av and Jae...you all can help me get my Forgotten Realms books. Maxy can buy the Spellfire Part II [I already have Part I], and Av can buy Spellfire Part III, and Jae can buy the book which I haven't decided on yet.

Ahh...dinner. Better go. Namarie!

2005-12-27T23:53:00.000-08:00

ugh.
Heya again. I'm on wizards.com now, having an RP with Cosmo, Vamp and Ebony. I'm a little lost, seeing as I'm unfamiliar with the d20 system, but I'm trying to catch up. My charrie is a half-elven Level 6 Ranger named Alusair Taelith. Ahh...I'm majorly confused. Can someone please tell me what 6d4 is??I'm really feeling out of it, although I love roleplaying. Sargon says I should go to amazon.com and invest in the AD&D Player Handbook Version3.5. I doubt my parents would be quite pleased if they found it had been delivered to our doorstep. No way. I'd be grounded for...life.

*glances at Internet Explorer window* Noo...Alusair Taelith has just been 1) knocked over by a forcefield of energy from a drow captain's ship and 2) been scorched to a cinder.

half an hour later....Ahaha. Good ol' Vamp. He resurrected Alusair, and she's not burnt to a crisp any more. And he's embarking on a Dragonstar campaign as well. Our RP today was the first venture into it. Although, of course, I was feeling extremely lost. Even though I received quite a bit of help. *sighs* I'm back on AU...I think it's the only place where I can really feel at home. I mean, Minas Tirith at Outpost is brill and all- 'specially when I'm RPing with Annatar and Vaorek. And I do have a family on Outpost- the Sielus. But still.
And wizards.com? Moox is awesome, he's going to help me come up with a title for the story I'm writing based on the RP we had. Yet...I don't think I could ever truly fit in. I'm too much of a noob. xD

Well, I gtg now. More talk later. Namarie!

2005-12-25T03:37:00.000-08:00

isusarad 'elir (:
It's Christmas today...and merry christmas, y'all!
I'm at Alex and Julia's house now, and we're gonna have Christmas dinner in a bit. Yesterday we had Christmas brunch with Gong and Por and the rest- it was awesome. Haha.
I'm hungry. Incredibly so. This shall be a short post, since the adults are intent on chasing me off the computer as soon as dinner starts. Ohh, prezzies! *claps hands*

In fact, I have a lot to say about Christmas. However, luckily for you- there's no time for philosophical talk today. It must wait.
Namarie...and isusarad 'elir! [trans from elvish to english= farewell...and merry christmas!]

2005-12-23T23:03:00.000-08:00

starry starry night. *
Starry, starry night
Paint your palette blue and grey
Look out on a summer’s day
With eyes that know the darkness in my soul

Shadows on the hills
Sketch the trees and daffodils
Catch the breeze and the winter chills
In colours on the snowy linen land

Now I understand
What you tried to say to me
And how you suffered for your sanity
And how you tried to set them free
They would not listen
They did not know how
Perhaps they’ll listen now

Starry, starry night
Flaming flowers that brightly blaze
Swirling clouds and violet haze
Reflect in your eyes of china blue
Colours changing hue
Morning fields of amber grain
Weathered faces lined in pain
Are soothed beneath the artists’ loving hand

Now I understand
What you tried to say to me
And how you suffered for your sanity
And how you tried to set them free
They would not listen
They did not know how
Perhaps they’ll listen now

For they could not love you
But still your love was true
And when no hope was left inside
On that starry, starry night Y
ou took your life as lovers often do
But I could have told you
This world was never meant for one as beautiful as you

Like the strangers that you’ve met
The ragged men in ragged clothes
The silver thorn of bloody rose
Lie crushed and broken on the virgin snow

Now I think I know
What you tried to say to me
And how you suffered for your sanity
And how you tried to set them free
They would not listen
They’re not listening still
Perhaps they never will…

2005-12-23T22:54:00.000-08:00

to where you are.
Who can say for certain
Maybe you're still here
I feel you all around me
Your memories so clear

Deep in the stillness
I can hear you speak
You're still an inspiration
Can it be
That you are mine
Forever love
And you are watching over me from up above

Fly me up to where you are
Beyond the distant star
I wish upon tonight
To see you smile
If only for awhile to know you're there
A breath away's not far
To where you are

Are you gently sleeping
Here inside my dream
And isn't faith believing
All power can't be seen

As my heart holds you
Just one beat away
I cherish all you gave me everyday
cause you are mine
Forever love
Watching me from up above

And I believe
That angels breathe
And that love will live on and never leave

Fly me up
To where you are
Beyond the distant star
I wish upon tonight
To see you smile
If only for awhile
To know you’re there
A breath away's not far
To where you are

I know you're there
A breath away's not far
To where you are

2005-12-20T18:48:00.000-08:00

musings on a wednesday morning.
Hmm. I hate it when I put lyrics on blogger and these weird symbols start popping up all over the place. But oh, never mind.
I'm not supposed to be on blogger now, but I don't really care about that at the moment. I just finished[well, yesterday,r eally] writing a poem. It's all right, I guess- some Irish moor/Stonehenge-inspired garbage. Not stuff that Shakespeare or Wordsworth would condone, but ahh well.
*beats self* I can't believe I didn't finish my dumb CAP portfolio. Not that I had anything tremendously good to put in it or anything....but ARGHICOULDHAVESKIPPEDISONEXTYEAR!!! I mean, c'mon. I don't think I could rack my brains to think of another ISO thesis statement/topic that would keep me interested until the end of the year. ARRGHHH. And I bet the rest of my ISO group is sick and tired of LOTR, and I'm the only [special] weird person who actually still loves it. Sigh.

Ohoh. I found this poem called 'Anthem for Doomed Youth' by Wilfred Owen. Here it is:
What passing-bells for these who die as cattle?
-Only the monstrous anger of the guns.
Only the stuttering rifles' rapid rattle
Can patter out their hasty orisons.

No mockeries now for them; no prayers nor bells;
Nor any voice of mourning save the choirs,
-The shrill, demented choirs of wailing shells;
And bugles calling for them from sad shires.

What candles may be held to speed them all?
Not in the hands of boys, but in their eyes
Shall shine the holy glimmers of goodbyes.
The pallor of girls' brows shall be their pall;
Their flowers the tenderness of patient minds,
And each slow dusk a drawing-down of blinds.

Nice, innit? Yes, indeedy. [Ohh gosh. Why am I talking so weird? Blame it on the Anne of Green Gables sequels I was reading yesterday] Anyway. On to other things. I am so deadpan for xiao shuo. I mean, really. I can't type chinese even though I have a Windows XP, and ugh. It's really frustrating. So I'll prolly hafta go over to someone's house and type it out there.

Random topic: stereotypes
I guess you could call me a nerd? Right? I mean, really. *counts off fingers* The inane Lotr obsession. The queer psycho habit of 'talking to the stars'. The obsession with online friends and roleplaying. The love of poetry and writing it. The tendency of going absolutely fangirl crazy over every little ad that Channel 5 puts up about blockbuster movies that include LotR. The poring over Narnia newspaper reviews, just to get a glimpse of the word 'Lord of the Rings'[okay, that was four words, but never mind]. The [horrible] tendency of using incomprehensible words that nobody understands. The fascination with the mystic. The wanting to buy a fantasy encycloepaedia for Christmas[and no I am so not kidding]. The countless hours of research on Dungeons and Dragons, roleplaying, fantasy etc. The yearlong, very stressful, very awesome ISO project on LotR. The very fact that I have wasted like an entire printer cartridge for printing out an English to Elvish and Elvish to English dictionary, plus the Elvish quotes from the movie, plus other commonly used phrases. Learning to write[and actually understanding] Elvish Runes. Trying to learn the Cirth of Daeron and Moon Runes, and being utterly devastated when I couldn't. Researching on people who think they are Elves AHEM. My queer habit of gazing out into space and just stoning into my own world. My personification of the stars and Moon and wind and Sea and whatever.My creating countless characters who somehow never quite made it to Hidden Realms or AU. My going ballistic when my parents didn't get me anything from that Elf shop in Holland, Amsterdam. My hitting it off with that weird guy at the Cine LAN centre, and all because we were rambling on and on and on about Guildwars and the fantastic graphics, and necromancers and Paladins and Elven Rangers and healers. My ablity to stay up on AU til 4am, waging battle on a couple of Dark Mages.

But I am not a jock, nor am I a goth, nor a punk, nor a prep. I don't know how you can stereotype people. Do you do it by their mindset [or what you think their mindset is], or the way they dress, the way they act...?
I don't know what I am, really. I know I can't be all nerd, or I would be going around in tight, pulled up really high trousers and baggy longsleeves, and ginormous thickframed specs. EW NO.

I can't wait for Narnia to come out. Even though sadly I won't be going to the premiere. Cos if Narnia makes a splash, that means naturally LotR will share in its glory. Woo. xD
Well.I should go. I'm insanely afraid my grandad will suddenly appear outta nowhere and kill me alive for being on blogger. Namarie!

2005-12-19T04:10:00.000-08:00

cry of the missing.
Please, please forgive me
But I won't be home again
Maybe someday you'll look out
And, barely conscious, you'll say to no one:
Isn't something missing?

You won't cry for my absence, I know
You forgot me long ago
Am I that unimportant?
Am I so insignificant?
Isn't someone missing me?

Even though I'd be sacrificed
You won't try for me, not now.
Though I'd die to know you love me, I'm all alone.
Isn't someone missing me?

Please, please forgive me
But I won't be home again
I know what you do to yourself
I breathe deep and cry out:
Isn't something missing?

Even though I'd be sacrificed
You won't try for me, not now.
Though I'd die to know you love me, I'm all alone.
Isn't someone missing me?

And if I bleed, I’ll bleed,
Knowing you don’t care.
And if I sleep just to dream of you
And wake without you there,
Isn’t something missing?

Even though I'd be sacrificed
You won't try for me, not now
Though I'd die to know you love me
I'm all alone.

Isn't someone missing me?

2005-12-19T03:57:00.000-08:00

ramblings.
Heya. I'm at the new gaming centre at Cine now. We had a brilliant time at Jae's house...really. We laughed and laughed and laughed, and must have looked tipsy staggering down the street.

Anyways. There's a ton of stuff going on around me- guys gaming and all, and it's really noisy. And I mean really. I'm a little freaked out. I mean, it's getting late and I'm all alone- and a guy tried to trail me just now. Too bad I got into the lift and closed the door in his face.
GIRLS: 2 GUYS: 0.
Yeah. But I guess I can manage it, right? I mean, I can scream. [remember that time I acted as Mrs. Sheares? Now that was hysterical. And I enjoyed it. ] Darn it- I don't have my penknife here with me for selfdefense. My parents confiscated it a few days ago. And yeah- what could I do with it if I still had it with me? Like, slit the guy's wrists? Ouch. Ohoh or maybe I could like slash my initials across his back. Like those gangs do sometimes. But then again, I am not a gangster, and I doubt the guy would let me do that.

I guess I should head back home soon. Darn my limited computer access. I like it here, even though it's late and...oh, I don't know. I'm just rambling on and on. I've found some awesome Evanescence lyrics. [why hasn't their new CD come out yet? It should be due soon.] I think I'm going to load you with lyrics and more lyrics. The outcome of boredom and utter randomosity.

Eep. I've got a funny Frankenstein lifesize figure next to my computer. [well, almost next to] I just noticed. Haha. It's kinda freaky. I half expect him to open his eyes and go "IGDAIHDLFOOOO!!!!" at me or something.

I'm going to post some lyrics now. And then I shall bus back home. Namarie. (:

2005-12-19T03:55:00.000-08:00

give unto me.

I've been watching you from a distance

The distance sees through your disguise

All I want from you is your hurting

I want to heal you

I want to save you from the dark

Give unto me your troubles

I'll endure your suffering

Place onto me your burden

I'll drink your deadly poison

Why should I care if they hurt you?

Somehow it matters more to me

Than if I were hurting myself

Save you

I'll save you

Fear not the flame of my love's candle

Let it be the sun in your world of darkness

Give unto me all that frightens you

I'll have you're nightmares for you

If you sleep soundly

Fear not the flame of my love's candle

Let it be the sun in your world of darkness

2005-12-18T06:27:00.000-08:00

sleepover.
Well. I'm at Jae's house now with Maxy.
Jae and Jesse are still at some dinner thingy, which Maxy and I left early and worked so darn hard to get a cab back to her place. We've been going on that talkcity site, which is absolutely sick and wrong. All everyone wants there is AHEM. *coughs violently* I was majorly grossed out, and I hate that site. So I left. Simple conclusion, really.

We bought strawberry and passionflower face masks today. Not those wimpy premade kind. Those really goopy kinds which are kinda gross to look at, but which are tons of fun to put on. Hee. I'm looking forward to smearing Jae's face in pink goo. We're also going to watch Dungeons and Dragons, and a scary movie after that. Dungeons and Dragons- woohoo. I'm going to go on AU during the scary movie, though.

Alll in all it's been rather a brill day. We laughed and laughed, and Maxy and I were singing weirded out songs like 'Elmo's world' and the theme to the Winx Club. Seriously, we looked like we were tipsy. We were singing and singing and staggering around...we would have freaked anyone out.

These weird guys have been looking at us. First the arcade- the guys at the pool table. [Oh...racing was so fun.] Then at the food centre- the funny looking guys at the table. Then later when Maxy and I were trying to hail a cab, this group of guys walked up and went like, "Hi there". HI THERE?!?! Is that even supposed to be a pickup line? If it is, it's not working.

Anyway. When I was on AU today, I met a girl named Rumor. Apparently she knows something about Kindan, and she said that she might have been the reason for him going away from AU. I intend to find out more tomorrow. Valar spit on it all....I miss him. And I know it's cliched and a ton of people will probably slam me for saying this. But I do.

Ahhh omg. I'm watching Dungeons and Dragons with the rest now. Woohoo. Also, I'm having a fantastic rp on AU. It's the best EVER.

Gtg now. Namarie((:

2005-12-18T05:33:00.000-08:00

where will you go.
You’re too important for anyone
You play the role of all you long to be
But I, I know who you really are
You’re the one who cries when you’re alone

But where will you go
With no one left to save you from yourself
You can’t escape
You can’t escape
You think that I can’t see right through your eyes
Scared to death to face reality
No one seems to hear your hidden cries
You’re left to face yourself alone

I realize you’re afraid
But you can’t abandon everyone
You can’t escape
You don’t want to escape
I’m so sick of speaking words that no one understands
Is it clear enough that you can’t live your whole life all alone
I can hear you when you whisper
But you can’t even hear me screaming

I realize you’re afraid
But you can’t reject the whole world
You can’t escape
You won’t escape
You can’t escape
You don’t want to escape

2005-12-18T05:06:00.000-08:00

1. Maisie
2. Jae
3. Ting
4. Samuel
5. Jeremy
6. Avril
7. Cheryl
8. Nic
9. Shuu
10. Bryan
11. Eugene
12. Marc Ashley
13. Jia Ni
14. Mich
15. Moses
16. Aaron
17. Solomon
18. Maxine
19. Yi Ling
20. Daniel

1.Is #1 a boy or a girl? Girl.
2.Would #11 and #2 make a cute couple? Eugene and Jae? ROFL!
3. How about #18 and #4? *coughcoughCOUGH* Ahh. Please.
4. What grade is #17 in? Same as I am.
5. When was the last time you talked to #12? Uhh...today.
6. What is #6's favorite band? She has a lot of em.
7. Does #1 have any siblings? Mhm.
8. Would you ever date #3? I'm not a lesbian, ahem.
9. Would you ever date #7? NONONONONONOOOO.
10. Is #16 single? Yep. ...I think.
11. What's #15's last name? Leow?
12. What's #10's middle name? How would I know? Does he even have one?
13. What's #5's favorite thing to do? Um. Play DOTA.
14. Is #13 hot? jia Ni? Nahh she's cute . ^^
15. Would #14 and #19 make a good couple?NO!
16. What school does #20 go to? RI
17. Tell me a random fact about #11? He...likes somebody. *coughCOUGH*
18. And #1: MOUSE!!!!!!
19. And #4: He hates "quote: 'all that gor shit'"
20. Have you ever had a crush on #15? NO!
21. Where does #9 live? Close to me. I dunno.
22. What's #3 favorite color? Green.
23. Would you makeout with #14? YUCKKKK!!!!!!!!!!
24. Are #5 & #6 best friends? They don't even know each other.
25. Does #7 like #2? As friends, yeah.
26. Does #8 like #19? As friends, you moron.
27. How did you meet #2? School
28. How did you meet #18? Uhh...we've been besties since p2!(((: OH yeah we drove everyone nuts by singing the Anastasia song in [off tune] voices.
29. Does #10 have any pets? Fish? I dont know.
30. Is #12 older than you? Nope.
31. Is #17 the sexiest person alive, or what? Oh HAHAHAHA.

2005-12-13T00:06:00.000-08:00

another day.

THIS IS MY NEW CHARRIE!
heya. me again. well...i don't have much to blog about. I'm on outpost[Minas Tirith] right now, talking to Naraku. Gosh- I haven't talked to him-- or any other outpost member, in fact-- in ages. I'm going for the Bold truth youth rally again tonight.

This is prolly going to be a very short post, even though I'm bored and nobody's online. I was supposed to go to Timothy's Forgotten Realms campaign last weekend, but in the end I didn't go, so yeah. Pity, really. It sounded like fun.[well, my idea of fun in any case.]

I've been intending to work on a story all holidays. [no, not the one that Av and I are supposed to write.] I also found out more about astral projection, and it isn't as awesome as it sounds. In one word, it's occultic. And the part about witches- I mean, it sounds cool and all- but now I'm beginning to have second thoughts about it. The Bible condemns all sorts of witchcraft and magic, saying that sorcerers should be put to death. And it's beginning to bother me- what with all my roleplaying and all.
For once, I want to write a story that doesn't involve all that world-hanging-on-the-brink-of-destruction stuff that we've been writing. And really, there's nothing wrong with that kind of adventure. In fact, it's really awesome. But you get tired of it after five[or six?] books of that essence. And for once, just for once, I'd like to write a story where our characters aren't godmodders; where the characters can engage in dryly humourous banter with each other; where the characters aren't haunted by some tragic past. Of course there'll be adventure as well. Loads of that old swashbuckling good stuff. But it gets cloying when your characters in all your stories are forever being all enigmatic and tortured and bloodthirsty. Even though as a rule I do like that kind of stuff. In moderation.

I should go now, before I start rambling again. Namarie.

a new beginning.

2005-12-12T01:05:00.000-08:00

running the race.

yet another blog.
hopefully i can manage to keep this one alive, unlike my other poor misfortune blog which undoubtedly must have reported me to the Society of Prevention Cruelty to Blogs. [SPCB] But enough of that.

The Race camp was awesome. I think everybody was just touched by God, and I've realised that it's time for me to stop running the rat race in life. After all, it leads nowhere. I made some fantastic friends at the Race, and I'll never forget playing captain's ball with fruits. Gosh. An ingenious idea. I nearly got chilli in my eye while trying to make a pass. And the dragonboating! My group behind me kept making funny noises...prolly cos I kept splashing seawater into their eyes. ::mellow:: Sorry bout that, y'all.

And thanks to Maxy and Mich who came down on Sunday as well. SonicEdge rocked...and all in all it was just inspiring- cos God was in the house!

Last time I used to really get riled over small things that she would say, but now it's going to be different. Love is slow to anger. And so I'm going to try to be nice to her and all that. Most of all, I'm just going to be myself- even if anyone says that I'm trying to be something I'm not.

Oh, and I want to watch Narnia! Yes, yes...major lotr buff coming through. I can't wait.
Well. I hafta go now. We're going for the Bold Truth youth rally at church. Woohoo. Cya soon!